"Mother Shock"

I recently finished reading "Mother Shock tales from the First Year and Beyond Loving Every (Other) Minute of It" by Andrea Buchanan.

It is essentially a collection of essays written by this woman during her journey into motherhood. She compares the process of becoming a mother to culture shock, the shock one feels when placed in a new and different environment. Culture shock is when you don't know the language, the traditions, the unspoken rules, the rhythm of a new place.

If you think about it, we all experience this whenever we start something new. Purchasing a home for the first time, starting a new job, moving to a new neighborhood, planning a wedding (oh, the lessons learned in that process!), entering a new phase of life, joining a new group.

So it makes sense that becoming a mother would involve some of the same milestones and experiences.

I really like the stories told in this book, because they are honest and familiar. The author tells of a fantasy she had when her daughter was first home - she dreamt she ran away. Not because she didn't love her husband or daughter or her life. I think it was because the sense that your freedom is "gone" can be somewhat daunting at first. While I didn't have a fantasy about running away, I did have some serious doubts about being a working from home Mom (WFHM - does that work?). I wasn't sure how to be all the me's at once, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to do what I was doing, even though I'd deliberately set up my professional life to allow the work from home schedule. It was scary, overwhelming and daunting, and I didn't always cope with grace.

But of course (and this happens after a little time in any new situation), now that I am 5 months into being a WFHM I feel (even on bad days) blessed, and lucky to be in my situation. I can't really imagine it much different now that I'm adjusted and used to life the way it is. I get to see my son 5 days a week. I get to keep my job. I get to keep earning an income, with no loss in earning. I get to get dressed up and be a grown up a few days a week. The remaining days, I (though I try not too, I can be lazy) can let my hair air dry and sit around in a sweat shirt. I can do "work" laundry once a month. I can cook dinner a few days a week, and have it on the table before 7pm. I am blessed. And I am lucky. But it didn't always feel that way.

Another reason I loved this book, is that she lived near Rittenhouse Square, and tells tales of meeting other new mothers in the Square, managing her new stroller through the city. Reading is a great way to get the imagination going, but I also love when I can read about a place I know. I can see her in the Square, pushing her stroller. It makes her story that much more real and concrete to me.

She tells stories of her daughter as a toddler, and I have the same reaction I did (and I think many of us do) whenever confronted with something new that I knew nothing about. I deny the complexity of the situation, discount her troubles as "not that bad", sure that I will be able to do "better." Luckily, I've been through this process to know that my reactions are wishful thinking, and part of the process.

If we really knew the complexities of the situation, probably fewer of us would actually have children. So, that "it's not so bad", and "but I'll be able to do better" stuff is not so much insulting to the person/mother going through it, as it is protection for the poor soul beginning the endeavor!

I enjoyed the book, found it a comforting, easy (not preachy) read. Check it out!

Big plans

So, since we didn't get the other house, and are planning to stay in our current house for a few more years to save up a larger down payment,we've got big plans for house improvements and work we want to do.

A partial list :

Seed and weed the yard
Install a storm door on the back door
Install balusters on the open staircase to the attice (before One Philly Son starts walking)
Organize and store off season clothes in the attic
Clean the basement
New couches (don't tell One Philly Daddy...)

Etc, etc, etc....

So the list goes on and on, and there are times I get caught up and want to get it all done in one weekend. There are lots of things I'd like to purchase to make our house more organized. A toy box with a lid(so the dog stops eating my son's toys), bins for attic and basement storage, again, etc, etc, etc.

But of course the body, nor the wallet will tolerate trying to accomplish all of those goals in one weekend. So I'm forced to be patient, prioritize and plan. The risk is of course, that my zeal will run out long before I've accomplished all on my list, so I'm going to give the slow and steady approach a shot. I bet I'm more fun to be around in the process!

We are chipping away at the list, and the house and yard are looking better and better everyday!

One CRANKY Philly Mommy!

Today is, unfortunately, one of those days when I'm ticked off even though nothing has gone wrong.

One Philly Son did have a huge blow out poopy diaper today, but otherwise was in a very playful and happy mood. He even took two fairly long naps.

I do have a marathon of a day tomorrow, due to an evening event at work, but everything seems to be in place and ready to go for the event. (Ok, I don't know what I'm wearing yet, and since there might not be anything clean and / or ironed, it might still be a pain in the neck. But, technically, I don't know that there's not something perfect to wear just waiting for me in the closet. So I can't really say that anything's "wrong." )

I've been more or less sticking to a plan to eat healthy, and One Philly Daddy is on a great healthy kick - eating right, working out (at least) once a day. But I'm stressed (for what, I'm not sure) so I'm fighting the urge to eat everything in the fridge.

We also started locking the kitty in the basement at night (with food, water and a newly cleaned litterbox), so we're all sleeping through the night again.

While I didn't get to clean this weekend due to my hand injury, the house is not in bad shape. Tonight we even did another two flower boxes for the front porch, put out stones in our back yard, and are keeping our fingers crossed that the seeds we planted this weekend, actually grow.

I'm working on plans to visit my sister and this weekend's weather is shaping up to be gorgeous, so hopefully we can visit Mermaid Lake, get some more yard work done, and fit in something fun....

So, I guess I just chalk it up to good old fashioned crackiness. It happens. Try as I might, I am not finding the positive or being grateful or any of that nonsense.

But, hey, tomorrow's another day!

Summer plans

Since we're not moving (the seller's realtor just let our realtor know that she is working directly with the sellers now, not the attorney's, "just in case" we were still interested...ha!), we have big, FUN plans for this summer.

We plan on joining Mermaid Lake, a fun swim club and picnic grove, where we also got married. It was a wonderful, fun, light hearted day and I am looking forward to even the prospect of being able to go back to where our life together "officially" started. If my son were older, I know it would blow his mind to be swimming where Mommy and Daddy got married. (And yes, we went swimming on our wedding day. It was, in a word, fabulous!)

We also plan to go to Wildwood, our favorite place to go "down the shore". We'll eat Mack's Pizza, play mini-golf at Hassel's and probably eat too much. We've gone to Wildwood every summer since we've been together, and its exciting to share what has become our tradition with our son. For every year we've been we have one of those black and white photo strips, and can't wait to get our first with the "new" family.

I hope to visit my sister and her husband, who are in the Army and stationed "close" by Army standards - in upstate New York (practically Canada). Since my brother-in-law has been deployed, it will be especially important to see him and let him spend some quality time with his new-ish nephew.

The summer also has all of our birthday's, our wedding anniversary, as well as One Philly Daddy's parent's 40th Wedding Anniversary.

Summer's for us are always busy, busy, busy, but also such a celebration of some really great things in our lives!

Life...out of control

First, let me say, thank you to all my readers out there.

Second, let me say, sorry I haven't been around in a few days.

The past few days have been a good excercise in accepting that life is not in my control. Gasp!

Work has been busy, and crazy, but that's just the way it is right now, so no need to go into details on that one.

Thursday I had a meeting in Malvern and started to feel not-so-great on the way home. By Thursday evening I was running a fever and woke up sweating a few times during the night. By Friday One Philly Daddy and I were sure we had a stomach flu and spent most of the day dashing to the bathroom. I was happy to be working from home that day, as I was still certainly able to work, but would not have been able to make it TO work. (My fellow SEPTA commuters would not have appreciated me on the train that day.)

Saturday, we were still not feeling well, but managed to get ourselves out of bed long enough to break up the soil in our yard and get some much needed grass seed planted in the yard. Afterwards, we returned to bed, and continued our rest.

Sunday, we woke up feeling better and decided to be ambitious. One Philly Daddy went to lift in our basement, and I had big plans to clean the house. Since we were sick, I wanted to change sheets, do laundry, clean the bathroom, disinfect door knobs.

Less than 10 minutes into our big plans, I was cleaning in the kitchen, and one of our metal backsplash tiles fell and cut my finger. I've never had stitches before, but it was obvious to me that this cut would require them. So One Philly Daddy rushed into action, called his parent's to babysit and drove me to the hospital.

Where of course we sat on and off alone for 4 hours before I got stitched up. Of course the staff at the hospital were helpful and took good care of me. But a bloody finger probably doesn't warrant much attention in the Emergency Room.

Part of me wanted (and to be honest, still wants to) to be super upset that things didn't work out the way I planned. Part of me wanted to rush home from the hospital and do everything I'd wanted to do, to prove that nothing would stop me.

But I've learned enough to know that it really wouldn't make me feel any better, and in fact would negatively impact my ability to heal and handle life as it came.

So, One Philly Daddy went to the grocery store since we were totally out of baby food. He also did a load of my laundry. And fed the baby.

I rested, took my super strength Ibuprofen and rested.

Which I didn't love, but I've realized something. The difference between the people I know who are happy and the people who are miserable is NOT the amount of money, size of the house, helpfulness of their husband, how far up they are at work, how helpful their mother is, how fun their friends are.

Certainly, a lot of those things can increase or decrease one's happiness. But mostly its the person's attitude. I know people with a lot less than I have, who are happier, more generous, more peace-ful (as in full of peace) than I am. So its not the stuff, its not the title, its not the money. Its how you/I think about it.

So instead of being upset or feeling inadequate because I haven't changed the sheets, I decided to be grateful that my healthy is still pretty much intact, that I have the help I need to take care of myself and make sure my hand heals, that I have the kind of job that gives me decent healthcare, and that I can still work, even after I've hurt myself.

And so far, it seems to have worked!

My finger is ok, didn't throb nearly as much as I thought it might, and I worked all day without it bothering me too much.

Life may be way out of my control, but I'm not!

Taking care of all of "me's"

Today I will be enjoying a mix of experiences. I'll get to be the worker, mommy, friend, and wife today. Which of course I am everyday, but somedays some of those "me's" don't get a lot of attention.

This morning I worked from home, which is working out to be such a blessing. I can spend time with my son, who is luckily a very easy child. I can focus on work. And since I don't have to commute, I get an extra 2 hours in my day. Which means this morning I managed to squeeze in 15 whole minutes of yoga before my son woke up. Still, that's 15 minutes I wouldn't have otherwise had!

And this afternoon friends of ours plan to visit, and we will get to meet their son for the first time. And playdates are always exciting.

This evening One Philly Daddy and I are taking a cooking class at a local cooking studio/catering company, Studio M. We always enjoy doing something a little out of the ordinary together, especially if it means we might learn something (like cooking) that we can share again in the future as well. Tonight's class is Tex-Mex, which inevitably reminds us of our favoritest (yes, I know that's not a real word) vacations in Mexico. As I said a few trips ago "Mexico is good for my soul." So anything that reminds us of that ease and relaxation is a good thing!

The power of positive thinking

I've been thinking a lot about my thoughts and feelings and how they influence my impression of my world.
Its a fascinating experiment, I always wonder which person I really am. Am I the person I am when I focus on the positive and make an effort to be grateful? Or am I the person I am when I am cranky, tired, with the weight of the world on my shoulders?

I can feel like I have to do it all, not wanting to ask for help or inconvenience anyone around me. I can quite convincingly convince myself that I'm a terrible mother, awful wife, worse housekeeper, that I can't keep up like "everyone" else can. My house is dirtier, my romance is more tired, my clothes are uglier, I'm not as in shape, as good looking or as smart as I should be.

But here's a fascinating experiment. Try it.

When some of those "I'm so ugly, stupid, fat and dumb" thoughts enter your mind, be aware and then try to cut them short. And then - this is hard, hard, hard in the beginning (at least it was for me) - put something positive in its place. And I mean a REAL POSITIVE.

Not one of those lousy, "at least I'm not as bad as..." or "it could be worse" "positives". Cause those aren't really positives. Those are just another way for you to tell yourself how awful you are while trying to sound nice. Like a compliment that cleverly hides an insult, that kind of positve doesn't really support you at all.

Think for as long as it takes for you to find something that really makes you smile. In your soul.

Try to think of a time you felt really good. And not just smart "enough", or thin "enough", or liked "enough". I mean, really, really good. A time when you looked around and thought "Damn! I got this!" A time when your life felt like it was going in the right direction. A time when you felt on top of your game, a time when you felt like anything you wanted to do, you could. Think about how you imagined your life and how great and happy you would be. Feel how good you felt then.

You're still the same person, take that feeling with you.

The flip side of that is thinking about when life wasn't so good. When you were broke, sad, alone and feeling like nothing, nothing, nothing ever went your way. At that time, what did you want? What did you think would make it "all better?"

Do you remember a time when $1,000 was an unfathomable amount of money? Do you remember a time when you thought, if only you had a job, everything would be ok? Do you remember a time when you thought, if only I had someone to talk too, everything would be ok? Do you remember a time when you thought, if only I had my own place, everything would be ok?

There's a long list of "if only's" that can keep us from ever reaching happy.

When I play that particular game, I find myself realizing that I've more than met many of my goals, more than achieved my dreams. Not all of them, of course, I'm not suggesting I'm done at the ripe old age of 32. But I've accomplished much in my life.

I've crossed so much off my "list" - college education, decent job, good husband, healthy baby, savings account, new (to me) car, nice house, good friends. But the goal can feel like it keeps getting moved away.

Everytime I get close to the finish line, I move it back. I'll be happy when.... I'll consider myself "done" when.... I'll stop worrying when.... I'll be confident when.....

And spending more energy focusing on the positive starts to take away those "when I...." statements. I remind myself that laundry and dishes do not equal happiness. I remind myself that there is only now. If I am going to wait until everything is crossed off my "to-do" list, I am missing the point, aren't I?

I only get one life. And the life I got ain't bad.

(Sorry Mrs. Winter - best English teacher I ever had)

So I'm continuing to focus on the positives, remind myself of where I come from and how far I've come. Remind myself of the positives. Celebrate what I've finished.

There are loads and loads of books to lead the way down this path, a quick search on Amazon brings up titles like The Power of Positive Thinking, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living and even an MP3 download Creating Postive Thoughts and a DVD Thoughts Become Things. 

And of course, that's just the beginning, there's loads more if you are interested. I've read many books to learn how to be happy and start living. But I've learned, I just have to do it. I've read enough to know what I need to do. Think positive. Focus on the good. Celebrate what you've done. And now, its about practice. Like most things, no one gets to be really great at something without loads and loads of practice. Even those with a natural aptitude for something have to practice to become great.

So that's what I'm going to do. Practice and practice and practice.

And eventually, I'll be really good at it....

Deciding to covet kindness instead of cars

I work for a large non-profit, and as part of my job, I come in contact with some very wealthy individuals.

And sometimes, I try comparing our lives.

Which is silly, of course, because our lives are so different. My house is not as large as theirs. My car is not as expensive. My diamonds are not as (sometimes) obnoxiously large. I do not take classes at the local community college to fill my days. I do not have "my driver" take me 3 Philadelphia city blocks. I do not winter in the south or the west. My picture does not appear on the social scene page of the news paper.

It is tempting to conclude that my life is not as "good" or "successful" or "easy" as theirs because of all they have that I do not.

But I've realized that there are some superbly wealthy people who are unhappy and stressed out and miserable, just as there are some miserable "poor" people. But there are also kind, generous, compassionate
people in both the "rich" and the "poor" category as well.

I'm much more impressed by a person who possesses kindness, and genuine character, than a person who possesses diamonds and cars and houses.

So instead of counting cars and diamonds and homes, I'm going to admire people with character traits I'd like to emulate.

House drama, continued

So, last night we officially withdrew our offer on the house and today...

the (seller) ex-husband....

....suddenly....

.....decided to accept our offer.

We sort of expected this to happen, so we weren't terribly surprised. But we were disappointed and frustrated. If a week ago he'd accepted the offer, I'd be talking about our first showing right now.
Of course, his accepting the offer now only reinforced our sense that #1 we were being strung along #2 it IS a fair offer #3 we were stuck inside something much bigger than just the house #4 the rest of the process was not going to be easy.

So, we're sticking with our decision to walk away.

We know the house needs some work, and we were willing and even (surprisingly) looking forward to it. We were going to make this house our home. We were going to shape it and craft it into what we wanted, much more so than we have in our current house. (We happen to love the house we're in now the way it is. So we've painted one room. Otherwise, its pretty much unchanged since we bought it.) We could see our kids growing up there, having camp outs in the big back yard, eating dinners on the enclosed porch.

Unfortunately, the seller(s) completely alienated us by their indecisiveness and constant delays. We were always being asked for "just a few more days" and then being told the ex-husband wouldn't budge and then being asked (once again) for "just a few more days".

I suspected that their refusal to budge was a ploy to try to get us to move up our offer. And the ex-husband, at least, must've thought eventually we'd accept his offer. He might've even thought that we were "calling his bluff" when we withdrew our offer. And I'm betting he's stunned that we're not gobbling it up now that he's (oh, so graciously) accepted our offer.

But, (and I love, love, love that my husband and I are on the same page in this sense) it was never just about the money for us. We offered what we thought was fair. We were honest in what we were willing to pay and we were more than patient in waiting for their decision. We were not playing games, we were not trying to force their hand in anyway.

We just offered what we could do. And once we'd had enough, we'd had enough. Now, we'd pay even less for the house. Our time and our energy is worth something too, and they've used up the time and energy we were willing to spend on this house.

And we feel really good about our decision.

Withdrawing home offer

We decided today to withdraw our offer on the house.

The seller is still trying to convince her ex-husband to accept the offer, and he's not budging.
13 days after our original offer, 9 days after our final offer, we've had enough.

Enough things in life have worked out well for us to know when something's not working.
And this is not working.

I will miss the closet space, but closets aren't worth forcing something that's not right.

So we won't get the house.

I'll keep living in my shoe box house (and loving it).

We'll be able to go the shore. We'll join a swim club for the summer. We'll keep saving for our forever house. We'll make this house more and more our home.

And sometime in the future, someone will list our "perfect" forever house. And they'll accept our offer.

The reward of focusing on the positive

I can to be very hard on myself, focusing much more attention on the mistakes, missteps, and screw-ups than on the positives. (In fact, I sometimes don't even realize the positives.) In my head I can never get enough done, be nice enough to my husband, work hard enough, excercise enough, save enough, well you get the idea....

The hope being, of course, that if I just do everything right nothing bad will happen. (Yes, I am fully aware that this concept is nonsense.)

This is something I work on improving because, even though its my knee jerk reaction to life and myself, #1 I know its not true (no one is as bad as I tell myself I am sometimes), #2 it is certainly not productive or fun. Who wants to be or be around someone that down on themselves? #3 I know that is a barrier to my ultimate goal in life: a happy, healthy family #4 In an ironic twist, it keeps me from enjoying the happy, healthy family I already have.

So I'm making a renewed attempt to focus on the positive, to see what we've accomplished instead of what we've missed, to celebrate my victories (no matter how small) instead of only seeing my missteps.

This is of course, easier said than done, but I have to report, it works amazingly well. I don't know that anyone around me can tell, but today I tried really, really hard to celebrate what I did right instead of what I did wrong.

Here are some examples:
My husband was near my office in the city for work today and we met for an early lunch. We got sandwiches and sat in Rittenhouse Square. We talked, and held hands, and took a walk. Instead of focusing on and worrying about the work I had to get done or fretting that I shouldn't take a lunch, I enjoyed the surprise hour in the middle of the day I got to spend with my husband.

When I got home from work, my husband had dinner started and the baby fed. (Yes, there are days I would have a hard time seeing the good in this situation. Sad, isn't it?) Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the spices spilled on the stove, the pile of dishes in the sink or the lack of vegetables in the meal, I rejoiced that dinner was half done, smiled at my smiling son, and made some vegetables to add to dinner (which One Philly Daddy thought was a great idea).

After dinner I sat on the floor with my son and we played with his blocks (which he loves). There are times I would be focusing on the clock, thinking about all the work I had yet to do, seeing the dust on the floor, the dog hair under the couch, and letting myself feel overwhelmed. Yes, I might be on the floor playing with my son, but in my head it would be just another "to-do" on my never ending list of things that have to be done. Instead, I realized my son was banging two blocks together and clapping his hands, something that a month ago, he couldn't do.

I'm not saying I've got this "being positive" thing down, or that I won't feel overwhelmed again, but today, for a few hours, I had some peace in my mind. There is real reward in being positive, and I hope I find it again tomorrow!

Real Simple - This month's Life Lesson

I am reading the new Real Simple and this month's Life Lesson is "10 ways to be closer to your Siblings"

My favorite are:

#6. B Gr8 Txt Friends
Since my brother is 10 years younger than I am, much of his communication was limited to "fine", "ok", and "hmmm" over the years. I've discovered we can have entire, lengthy, in depth conversations typed out in text messages. And so long as we're talking and I know what's going on with him, who cares that it's over text?

#3 Stop being the Family mole
Essentially - stop talking about each other with each other. My siblings and I that have committed to being honest with each other and saying TO each other what we used to say to the rest of the family have fabulous, honest relationships. Enough said on that one!

#2 Make a Cameo Appearance
Instead of just showing up for the stuff you have to show up for, show up for somehing really important to someone - the random work event or small family function (not weddings and funerals).

Siblings are those who know you best, and understand without words what you are talking about. They are the ones who came from where you are from. Love 'em or hate 'em, no one knows you like a sibling.

How long will I wait for acceptance of offer on house?

And a Happy Friday to you!

So One Philly Daddy and I have big plans tonight. We're headed to a Blue October concert (Approaching Normal, Foiled, Consent to Treatment for cd's) at TLA on South Street.

Even cooler, I found out totally by accident one of my favorite people in the world will be there as well. So its bound to be a very fun grown up night out.

And tomorrow, we'll be back in the city for a friend's birthday party.

Yesterday I traveled for a work meeting and didn't get home until 9:30 last night, well after my bed time. The night before that, we sat around drinking wine and talking with good friends until midnight.

So, I don't want to sound ungrateful for my full and happy social calendar, but I hope nothing happens on Sunday.

I am having a great time, and love getting out in the weather. But there's laundry, dishes and, oh yeah sleeping to catch up on.

And we're still waiting for the official acceptance of the offer we put in on the house. Who knows what's really going on, but word is that the husband wants more money, so the wife has to convince him or negotiate with him in someway so that the offer is accepted.

Which means we're probably not getting our house listed before the $8,000 tax credit expires on April 30. We're not eligible, but we thought it might be a nice incentive for whoever might buy our house.

Even after our offer is accepted, we have to go through the process of negotiating any necessary repairs with the seller.

So this could be a lengthy process.

In the end, I am fully confident that it will all work out, as it usually does. It appears our closings won't be happening mid-May which is great because I have a few large events at work at that time. So now my debate is whether or not to join a swim club and when to go "down the Shore."

So long as nothing happens on Sunday, I might have time to make a decision...Have a great and safe weekend!

My little boy is growing up...

How fast a year goes in the life of a baby! And how quickly things do change!

Right now One Philly Daddy and I are sitting in bed watching One Philly Son fight off sleep with our baby monitor. One Philly Son is crying, shaking his head "no", and reaching out to pet his Fisher-Price Soothe & Glow Seahorse (which we love so much we have 2 of them...). The shaking his head "no" is new, the refusing to fall asleep because he's realizing that One Philly Mommy and One Philly Daddy are gone is new. So much is changing that he is, yet again, becoming a new boy.

I can't help but think about how much he has changed. He's got two teeth peaking out, he sits up on his own, gets frustrated if he can't reach what he wants and looks more and more like a little boy and less and less like a baby. He looks like his brain is starting to grasp the concept of crawling and its only a matter of time until his legs and arms catch up.

I remember when he couldn't hold up his head, reach out for his own pacifier. When he didn't eat cereal or fruit. When he couldn't look at me and recognize me.

Now, he's a whopping 7 months old, and is starting to be "over" nursing. He frequently refuses to nurse now, preferring a bottle so he can look around, stare at the dogs, watch Daddy.

I'm so excited for all the next stages. The first step. First word. First time at the beach. First birthday cake. I'll miss everything that he outgrows, but until he does, I'm gonna soak up every amazing little thing he does. Even when that's crying himself to sleep....

House Update

So we're still waiting for news on the house...unfortunately, the house is the "final step" in a divorce, which means our last, final, won't go any higher offer is now being debated by not only us, our realtor, the seller, her realtor, but also a pair of divorce lawyers.

I know from experience that divorce can be ugly, painful, and can make people do things they never imagined they could do. (To be fair, my experience was as a child during my parent's divorce, so I probably don't have a full understanding of either their relationship, nor the intricacies of their divorce.)

And the last thing I want to do is create more stress and pressure on a situation that might already be pretty stressed. (To be fair, there are those divorces out there that aren't painful and awful.)

I'm reading Dr. Phil's "Family First" and he makes the point, that if you do divorce, it should be done when you can make the decision without emotion, with the knowledge that you have done everything possible to save the marriage. That the decision should be made with a resigned sense of inevitability. I have some doubts  as to how possible that it, but it sounds like a noble goal. So maybe this house isn't a hot bed of chaos and contempt between two people who used to love each other.....

Have you noticed a tendency to think too much about things?

So I'm still in house limbo, and with every tiny swing one way or the other, I swing too. So when it appears there is "no chance" that we'll get the house, I feel myself settle into our cozy (that means "small" in real estate speak) house that I love. I can see my son growing here. I am relieved that we'll be able to keep saving as much as we have and make plans for weekend trips over the summer. And when there's a glimmer of possibility that we "might" get the house, I find myself arranging the furniture in my mind, picking out paint colors and hosting a big picnic in the yard.

I suppose this means I am willing to make the best of either conclusion, and would be happy either way. Which I honestly believe is true. I want only what is best for my family, and trust that that is what will happen. But I sure do waste a lot of energy trying to figure out what that is!

I can't imagine anything will develop this evening, so I'm going to settle into bed with my latest Parents (2-year) magazine and try to enjoy the life I've got, instead of missing it by focusing on what may or may not happen.

Stay tuned!

Thinking about selling your home and buying a new one?

So, we officially put in our offer last night, and are waiting to hear back.

Putting an offer in on a house is stressful stuff, and its hard to know if the stress is all worth it.

For instance, I learned last night that closing on both houses (the one you are selling/moving out of and the one you are buying/moving into) on the same day is super-duper common practice. Huh? Ok, so essentially you'd have to be approved for both mortgages at the same time, carrying both payments, in order to close even a week later.

So much for my well-thought out, take-a-week-to-move-and-paint idea.

Essentially this "closing on both houses on the same day" idea means that you hire movers (my friends are great movers but there's always beer and pizza invovled and "quick" is not always the name of the game) come to the house you are selling, and pack all of your belongings into their truck.

You go to closing, sign all the paperwork and officially, legally sell your "old" house.

Then you go to your second closing of the day and officially, legally buy your "new" house.

Then you drive to your new house, where hopefully the dudes in the truck have all your belongings and lug them all inside.

Which sounds like a nightmare. Oh wait, I have 2 dogs,  a cat, and a 7 month old. It IS a nightmare : )

Additionally, the idea of showing our current home to sell it is a little tricky now. Cause, you know, I work from home 3 days a week. With a baby, 2 dogs and a cat. Um, yeah, that sounds like fun!

So, there's a distinct possibility the next few months will be a little chaotic, but the up side is we'd end up with a forever house at a decent price, hopefully with a low interest rate...and there are still 30 days in this $8,000 tax credit for new home buyers, which hopefully would entice a buyer for our house.

We'll see what happens!