Twice in the past 8 days I attended a yoga class.

I love yoga. I imagine that yoga is to me what church can be for some. When I do yoga, I feel in touch with something (someone?) bigger than myself, bigger than my comprehension. I revel in the mind-body connection. I spend a lot of time "living" in my head so deliberately focusing on stretching down with my tail bone while up with the top of my head can start to feel spiritual.

I am drawn to the ideals of yoga, and some of my most valued lessons came by way of a yoga class. When attempting a new, challenging, "impossible" pose (crow, head stand, hand stand, etc) I've been told it is only my mind holding me back, that once my mind believes I can do it, the body will stop resisting (also known as "being afraid of falling on my head"), and I will in fact be able to do it. I loved the teacher who encouraged us to push our poses to new places, encouraging our stumbling, falling and slipping by telling us that falling was our sign that we were growing.

But I sometimes let months go between classes. They are expensive, life gets in the way, I dm busy. And if I am truly honest, sometimes it can be too much. Not physically, I am fascinated by the strength that can be achieved be leaning, stretching, holding up my own body.

No, rather it is tapping into that greater power that sometimes scares me. I was attending the same class with a teacher I really responded too, and she pushed me. She said I could extend my arms and hold cobra with just my core. She was probably right, she was very aware of my physical strengths and abilities. But I didn't. Couldn't or wouldn't, whichever. My body listened to my mind saying "you can't do this!" and I didn't attend classes for a few months.

There's also an aspect, for me at least, of getting answers. At church, it would be called God's voice, but some would say it is my truest self and I'm "hearing" what I already know.

This phenomenon fascinates me, but can also can something that scares me. What if I hear an answer I don't want to hear? Of course, those answers come only from a place of love and honoring of my truest self, a place of peace and love. So the answers shouldn't scare me.

But, I do feel better when I practice regularly - physically, emotionally and mentally. So I should probably just stick with it,huh?