When do I know when to make a change?

Today I am thinking about change, specifically, when to know its time to make a change.

Today was full of discussions about the future, the state of the "union" as it were, and when to know enough is enough.

So how do we know when enough is enough?

Inside 18 months of my life (in a galaxy far, far away) I experienced the end of an engagement AND getting fired. Fun year. (Side note, I lost a ton of weight, and was the skinniest I've ever been. Even though thin is ok, heartbroken and thin is not a good combination.)

Looking back, I KNOW that I played a part in those (now clearly) dysfunctional relationships (both the engagement and the job) and yet I stayed, long past the time when I was getting any "return" on my "investment."

So how do we know when enough is enough?

Many of my friends are now in situations where they feel their employer is changing the rules, making deals with the devil and hiding the truth. (I suppose, if  you watched the news, this would not be a surprise.) The sense that the "other shoe is about to drop" is pervasive across income levels, industries, experience and professions.

If I had a dollar for every person who told me they were just hanging on as long as they could, to keep collecting a paycheck for as long as they could, well let's just say I wouldn't worry about losing my job.

As a parent,the pressure is a little different. Can I save for college (or a jump-start to life fund)? Should I book a vacation? If I can't save for retirement for 5 years, 7 years (because, let's face it, if I lose my work-from-home-3-days-a-week job now, do I have any hope of finding something with the same salary AND the same schedule? super-uper-duper doubtful.), how far behind does that set my family? Never mind food, shelter, heat and clothing, those, oh so pesky essentials.

If I lose my job (salary) do I even have the right to attempt baby #2 (ok, clearly, I'm admitting here, I'd like to grow my family beyond baby #1)? Is it irresponsible to grow your family when you're not sure how to pay for the one you already have?

At what point does the stress of all these things stop being worth the pay-off?

In the current economy, I know (unfortunately, many) more than one person, desperately clinging to a job they don't love, that doesn't make them feel fulfilled or satisfied, or smart or capable, merely because it pays the bills.

And there were times when that was ok, because, if it really got that bad, you could always run out and find another job. Might take a few months, but you'd probably have the same, if not better, salary, and at least it'd be new poop (insert grown up version of "poop" if you must) instead of the same old poop.

But now, people don't even feel that sense of "at least I can do something about it". Which, of course, makes the crap that much harder to swallow.

Even the illusion of choice is far more empowering than the sense of dread that fills many of my co-workers, friends and family.

So, in this enviroment of dread and fear about the future (for the economy, the individual, and perhaps, the whole industry), how do we know when we've had enough, and we can walk away from a bad situation?
When does personal satisfaction outway responsibility and vice versa?

Well, sorry, this in One Philly Mommy, not Crystalball.com (not a real site, I don't think) or tell your future here.

I have no idea.

You have to decide when enough is enough.

But, I know from (repeated) personal experience, that people can do more than they ever imagined, if they only believe they have no other choice.

Is anything better than where you are now?

Mother's raise children on less than povery incomes, all while going to college so they can make a decent living and get off welfare. Wives walk out of abusive homes, literally with nothing more than the children they love. Father's work 18 hours a day, for 6 days a week, to support their family.

No, I'm not suggesting any of those scenarios to you, why would I? I like you!

I'm merely saying, only you know when the situation you are in is no longer tenable. Only you know what you can live with, and what you can't. Only you know that moment when you truly believe "anything would be better than this."

And if you can't live with it anymore, take comfort in this thought: you are not alone. Many before you have struggled through insurmountable struggle and came out the other side. You are not the first to think: "This is IMPOSSIBLE" and you will not be the first to grit your teeth, put  your head down and work through it anyway.

If you've had enough, go ahead, make the change.

I know you can do it.