"Reinventing Ourselves After Motherhood"

Ok, so I'm a reader. If I am trying something new or hoping to get better at something, I read about it. Some people are great "do-ers" - they can just go and do something and figure it out as they go. I, however, am one of those people who feels like I need to know the "how's" and "why's" before I'll try.

I've read books on personal finance, professional confidence, communication, dressing better, gardening, organizing, and yes, pregnancy and motherhood. I read books on pregnancy and motherhood before we officially started "trying", so its no surprise that I am currently reading 3 books, that all have something to do with motherhood.

Right now I am reading: "Reinventing Ourselves After Motherhood: How Former Career Women Refocus Their Personal and Professional Lives After the Birth of a Child", "Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It" and Family First: Your Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family by Dr Phil.

And let me also state, that I do deliberatly sometimes read books that I expect to disagree with, if only for the sake of having an open mind and knowing what the "other side" is thinking and doing. I really think understanding your "opposition" can really help understand yourself. So now that that little disclaimer is done, on to the real topic.

I just sat and read some of Reinventing Ourselves After Motherhood: How Former Career Women Refocus Their Personal and Professional Lives, and I have to say, my eyes have been opened a bit.

I got this book as one of those "let's see how the other side lives" experiments and realized (as often happens) that I am, in fact "on the other side."

The author writes about her experience of being a high-powered, successful, driven career woman, who finds herself at home with her children. I expected the book to be a story about high-powered women who were driven by shallow signs of success and money who suddenly realize that there is more to life than a corner office and money, and leave it all behind for the blissful life of motherhood.

But she writes about the experiences of women who've retired, changed, or scaled back their careers for their families.

I'm not finished reading the book (ok, I'm only on page 40) but I've already been forced to face a hard-cold fact. I'm one of those women. (That may not be a surprise to you, but sometimes the truth you are living is the hardest to see)

Within the past week I had my mid-year review at work and one of the questions was "What is your ideal ultimate position here?"

Now I work for a non-profit in a pseudo-Adminstrative position, but I've worked my tail off and been given projects (sometimes) well beyond my official title. I enjoy my work and the sense of satisfaction and pride I get from doing a good job, and making it look easy for those in the spotlight (even in high school plays, I was the one moving props, not acting on center stage). I've always planned to move up, keep taking on more and more responsibility and increasing my professional life.

But when asked this question about my "ideal ultimate" job, I had to say that, for now at least, I was where I wanted to be. My current position allows me to work from home, continue to financially contribute to my family, and not be forced to "start over" when I return to the work force.

But I can't think a minute past any of that. Ideal ultimate position? Um, can we wait until the kids are in school at least? Just getting myself dressed, fed, to work/daycare, back again, bathed, and to sleep, with some work (professional and "house") thrown in there is about all I can muster.

I can't think about what the next career move would be, let alone start to actually make that move.

So here I am, a professional woman who is refocusing my professional and personal life after the birth of my child. Go figure!

The book was published in 1999, but I am finding the struggles and conflicts these women experience are timeless. If you're trying to figure out a professional/personal balance, check out Reinventing Ourselves After Motherhood: How Former Career Women Refocus Their Personal and Professional Lives after the Birth of a Child - it might at least make you realize you aren't alone!

I'm sure I'll write more as I get through more of the book, stay tuned!