What my best looks like today....

I've just read another "unplug and pay attention to your kids" blog. And I love those. There are moments I'm struck by the finite time I have with my children while they are young. I'm struck by the fleeting moments that are being sucked up by Facebook, chores, work, commitments, and sometimes, just plain old boredom, irritation and exhaustion.


A few confessions:
I do not like to play Barbie's. Didn't when I was a kid, still don't. Worse, One Philly Daughter is a strict director, and sticks to her plot line. There's not a lot of room for creative license when playing with her.


I suck at video games, which One Philly Son excels at. Like, he's not good for a 6 year old, he's good. I've beaten him exactly once at Smash Brothers and when we play Mario Brothers, more times than not he carries me through a majority of the level. And, I don't mean figuratively. I mean his Mario picks up my Yoshi and carries it through the jumping and leaping and dodging. And he still beats every level. I have to beg him to stick to Worlds 1 and 2.


I'm not terribly entertained by many of the things that absorb my kids.


But. I am absorbed by them. And, so, there are many times I make the effort to play, be engaged and express interest in the things that interest them. Because the people are precious to me, even if I don't care much for the things that they care about, if we're being totally honest. And many times, I'm there. I play the game and we laugh at my gaffes. I play Barbie's and do as I'm told. And we build memories and connections and laughter.


I think that's what is lost sometimes in all these messages that implore us, lovingly remind us, but also, let's be honest, sometimes chide and scold us for scrolling Facebook, focusing on our jobs, cleaning our house, seeing our friends, or just plain zoning out.


Sometimes, checking out a bit can be a kind thing, to both myself and my kids. Sometimes, I'm at the end of my rope. Sometimes, a mild disinterest is kinder than a mean snap. Sometimes, indifference is kinder than anger. Sometimes, going through the motions is kinder than exploding with frustration. Sometimes the polite "mm-hmmm" is what I can offer.

And, no, I don't recommend making Facebook a priority over your kids everyday. Or ignoring your kids for work all the time. Or never making eye contact in favor for a screen or something else.

But, sometimes, the tank is empty. The nerves are frayed. The effort has been made and there's nothing left to offer.


So, when you see me rolling my eyes or blankly nodding, please don't doubt I adore my kids. Please don't question my dedication to my kids.


Sometimes, when it looks like I'm being a distracted, indifferent, unloving mother, I'm still offering my best self.