I am again faced with the question of how MY choices will affect One Philly Son, and how I hope I'm doing right by him.

Oh, yeah, not to mention there's soon going to be a New Philly Daughter who will have her own sets of needs, wants, and desires to be considered.

But, back to the case in point: in the next 5 months One Philly Son will experience some massive changes in his world. Starting nursery school, new baby, new room. And, just for kicks, we've decided to throw "new home" into the mix as well. So he's currently experiencing a fair amount of home turmoil as we prepare to show and sell our house.

Buying a house now was not the plan. But, as I've learned, even the best plans need to be flexible when circumstances warrant it. And the opportunity we have right now is worth the turmoil of uprooting our family in the midst of my pregnancy. (Even though a short time ago my opinion was different http://onephillymommy.blogspot.com/2011/07/if-youve-been-to-my-house-since-may-you.html?m=1 )

In addition to trying to manage the paperwork and deadlines of purchasing and selling a home, packing and staging our home and praying for a swift sell, I am really focused on One Philly Son. I've read the best way to prepare a toddler for a new sibling is to understand feelings of jealousy or resentment, to explain as best you can, to keep stable the things you can, and to give some undivided attention each day. I'm hoping the same techniques will apply to the other changes we're initiating.

Even though my head may be full with details and plans for packing, selling, moving, and baby preparing I want to spend some time each day reading or playing with One Philly Son. Not mindlessly "uh-huh"-ing him, checking it off my list, but REALLY focusing on him.

If anything, I consider this a gift, not a burden. For one thing, it reminds me of what is important and "why" we're doing all this in the first place: we believe all this is in the collective best interest of our family in the long run. But more than that, being a mother has forced me to take a hard look at getting overwhelmed, scared, stressed, aiming for unattainable perfection and being full of doubt. These things never really served me, but now that I can see the ramifications reflected on a 2 year old face I see how truly detrimental they can be.

If I hope for One Philly Son to be resilient, calm, trusting of his abilities and willing to live life, I need to exhibit these skills myself. The words and actions I choose need to support and strengthen my family rather than fill them with worry and dread.

Indeed, being pregnant makes the ramifications of that stress more important too. My ability to cope and roll with the punches has immediate and physical impacts on my daughter.

All these changes are really forcing a hard look at some baggage, and I'm making smart decisions about what to take and what to leave. In the boxes and my head.