Weighting to see...

So life is full of dilemmas.

My current one is admittedly laughable, but a dilemma none the less.

Here's the situation: I'm not in as good of shape as I'd like to be. I consider myself moderately healthy, and have been sneaking in WAY more vegetables than I knew possible. My arms and legs remain thin-ish and toned (chasing and carrying a 22 lb bundle of love will do that). BUT my middle keeps getting softer and squishier.

I know exactly how to fix it. Eat less. Move more. It really is that simple. (I'm also hoping that a reduction in my stress level may result in fewer mindless sugary treats - my major weakness- being shoved down my throat).

Here's where it gets tricky, and when I know I'm my own worst enemy. I'd like to have a second child someday, and will obviously gain weight. So I tell myself the effort to get in shape will be "wasted."

Yes, I know that is ridiculous.

Health and saving are two things I feel should always be a priority. If I'm healthy when I get pregnant, my pregnancy, delivery and recovery will be easier. My baby will be healthier. I'll probably be happier and more able to cope witb stress.

And yet...

So my story really isn't about excercising or losing weight, but that fantastic phenomenon when you have all the data, you KNOW the smart thing to do, and you probably want to do it. And yet...you don't.

I'm not sure of the answer or the solution, but it is interesting to ponder. I'm well aware of the roadblocks I put in my own way, while I have many reasonable explanations, I realize they are all junk and if this was really a priority, I'd be doing what needed to be done.

I've felt out of control of many of the details of my day to day life and it fascinates me that my response is to give up further control by losing myself in ice cream and thoughts of "when such and such happens, I'll ...". Even though I've known all along a regular work out would give me greater strength to deal with the uncertainty.

Whatever happens, I'm 1000% (yes 1000) confident I'll be motivated to act before things are too out of hand or there is a real health concern.

I think understanding why I'm acting this way will translate to other moments I find myself paralyzed by my own inaction. So I'm going to give myself just a little more leeway, to see what happens. Will the removal of a major stressor cure my sweet tooth? Will I wake up with energy and the urge to work out?

Who knows? But I'll keep ya posted!