There's a quality of mine I hope I do not pass on to One Philly Son.

Being nice.

Specifically being nice at the expense of his own needs.

Let me explain. Now that we venture out to public play dates, we occasionally (a lot more often than I am comfortable with) are confronted with children who want the toy One Philly Son has selected. I appreciate the parents who step in and say to their child "no, honey, you can't take toys from others" and am appalled at the parents who don't notice or intercede.

I have been conflicted and uncomfortable with how to react as the parent of the child who has had "his" toy yanked from his hand. I don't want to be rude, so even when the other parent apologizes and returns the toy, I make a joke, say it is no big deal and maybe even discount my son by saying something like "he'd probably get bored with it soon anyway."

Wrong life lesson, Mommy. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

The lesson I fear I teach is that his boundaries can be crossed, someone else's needs are more important than his, and that niceness is more important than standing up for himself.

I'm going to have to practice a few new ways of handling this situation, but my goal is no longer to prioritize preserving the ego and dignity of a perfect stranger, but rather to teach my son respect and pride. For others and himself.

It's not my goal, but I bet I gain some in the process as well.