Brand new SAHM

So, SAHM means Stay at home Mom - there are secrets codes to this motherhood thing that I've had to learn - just like when I was on all the blogs and boards when I was planning my wedding. I had to learn MIL and DH and MOH (Mother-in-law, Darling Husband, and Maid of Honor, in case you were wondering.).


So today we got an announcement at work that a woman who's been with the organization for 13 years has decided to be a SAHM. She has two young children, but also has what I would call a "career" and is in middle management.


I had a host of reactions to this announcement:


Sadness: This person, though not in my immediate work universe, was someone I respected and liked, and I will miss her.

Empathy: I know that this decision could not have been easy for her. As far as I could tell she thrived at work and enjoyed her position, but also adored and loved her children.

Curiosity: Just how does that work, I mean logistically. Benefits, left over vacation time, loss of pay, loss of day care bill.....how does it work?

Jealousy: That she will be free to be the Mom, and Just The Mom. That she can gaze into her kids eyes everyday and enjoy every new and amazing discovery. That she can make cookies and read books and go to the park whenever she wants too.

Closely followed by:

Dread: At the thought of being Just The Mom, because of course that also means Chief Cleaner-Upper, Toddler-Follower-Arounder, Driver, Nurse, Cook, etc with no built in reason for getting up and showered and dressed, and out of the house. Even if just a few days a week.

Relief: For her. That at least she's come to a decision. I can relate in only the smallest way to the inner conflict that being a working Mom entails. (Since I don't have 2 kids and I get to be home with mine and work 3 out of 5 working days).

What I don't feel is disappointment that she gave up her career or that she didn't choose to continue to balance both working and being a mother.

I'm happy for her and hope that her choice brings her and her family peace and joy.