Multi-tasking Mama

I've come to realize that multi-tasking is an inevitable side effect of motherhood (slightly better than stretch marks, sweaters decorated with spit-up, and the complete loss of any body-modesty). There are just too many tasks and details to keep straight, manage, organize, plan for and deal with to not become some sort of multi-tasking Robo-Mom.

Pre-baby I was a champ relaxer. I wanted to sit on the couch, watch tv, read a book, nap. My husband was the one saying "what are we going to do this weekend? wanna see a movie? go to dinner? rollerskating? bowling? well, what do you want to do??" while I was typically responding "nothing" or "nap". While I was by no means "lazy" (what needed to get done always got done and I was happy to do it).

Well, now that I'm a working mom I feel like I'm going in "plaid" most of the time. (Check out the link if you don't know what I'm talking about. Or, if you do and you just want a little "Space Balls" in your day.) At any given moment I'm in the middle of 4 or 5 tasks, and planning out how to get the next 20 or 30 done. And yet, I'm never "done." Of course, being done is not an option, at least for the next 18 or so years.

I've seen many mothers, including my own, burn themselves out in the overwhelming, and frankly, impossible attempt to get it all done. And yet, I am driven by the same urge to have the laundry done and folded, dishes done, house clean, family fed and clean, dogs attended too, books read, movies watched, bills filed, taxes organized, Retirement fund rebalanced, etc, etc, etc, etc.

You get the general idea. Somewhere along the way I bought into the idea that I could, should and would (come hell or high water!) have it all and be it all.

And all of that sounds pretty good. Who doesn't want to have a wildly romantic marriage, perfectly attended to children, a clean, nice house, a fulfilling career, lifelong friendships, all while remaining well rested? And there are plenty of people telling us that not only possible, but practically our birthright and our obligation.

A few days ago my husband and I climbed into bed at the end of the day and sat watching TV. After about 30 seconds, I announced "I'm bored." Such words I had never uttered before in my life. I strove to be bored, to be honest. I wanted to sit in that bed and do nothing! And now, here I was, suddenly feeling bored as my mind struggled to shift into a slower gear.

Luckily I'm smart enough to know that this break-neck speed can't sustain itself for long, and can often have disasterous results. So I also try to be aware of when my husband is inviting me to just sit with him and watch television or talk or whatever. I try to remember the value of resting and taking time to myself to re-group, or whatever it is that I might need at that moment. To be present for more of my life than just the "to-do" list.

So I'm still planning on striving for being and having all I can, but somehow, slowing down long enough to enjoy it too!

I think I'll go sit on the couch! Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

-One Philly Mommy