I recently re-read Eat Pray Love because I loved the book, but also because I am so taken with this woman's journey to discover herself. It took courage for her to examine her inner-workings with such honesty.

I've always been into self-awareness and self-help-y type exercises, experiences, books and writings. I once exclaimed, without an ounce of sarcasm, "I love therapy!" I started going as part of my parent's divorce proceedings, and honestly, I guess it stuck. I wasn't consumed with the desire to escape or avoid what was going on in the world or within myself, I was consumed with the desire to understand. I felt it I just understood, I could take a different path.
What I've learned over the years is that actually understanding what goes on in the human mind is complicated and tricky. And understanding what goes on in your own mind is even more complicated. (Something about objectivity?)

But what a fascinating journey! (Admittedly, some of this therapy was in fact necessary at certain times in my life. I thank (insert name of your favorite deity here) for all those who helped when I needed it most.)

The desire to understand how and why you are who and what you are fascinates me. Admittedly, there are more social hobbies a girl can have, but this one has served me well, and I have to say, I cherish the journey I've taken.

It may go without saying that a fair amount of the work that I did was to educate myself so that I would not repeat certain patterns, certain legacies that should've died generations ago. I was going to be the broken link in that chain if it killed me.

I don't think I realized until I had my son just how scared I was of screwing it up. (And I knew I was plenty scared, but I think this was down-to-my-bones scared without even realizing it..)

The innocence and purity of childhood is the most reverent, sacred thing to me. I believe a child's trust, faith, heart and soul are the most important and valuable things that anyone can be entrusted with. The Hope Diamond is a cheap trinket compared to this. And I know that that sounds like a pretty big deal, but it does not begin to express the importance that I put on it.

And yes, a fair number of shrinks (I use this phrase with all fondness and respect) have informed me that this belief may in fact be a teensy-weensy bit too much pressure on any human being.

But of all the things to not f*ck up, this one seemed the most important.

And I'm gloriously proud, relieved, somewhat embarrassed (there were, ahem, a few people who told me all along I could, I just didn't believe them) to admit...I can do this.

I'm a decent Mom. It is by far my favorite role to date, and I revel in it. No, I won't do everything perfect. Yep, I'll mess somethings up. Yep, some of my hangups will unfortunately be visited upon my children. But I bet some of my grace, wisdom and strength will too...

A Yoga teacher/friend/truly fascinating person I know recently conducted a Yoga retreat in Mexico called "Letting Go" (oh my god, that's like three of my favorite things - yoga, Mexico, AND self help?!?!?! I love it!) and it got me to thinking, its time to really start putting down all that baggage I've carried around for so long.

My biggest, deepest fears have been proven wrong and I can stop arming myself against them.

What can you let go and put down?