My new daughter will be 2 weeks old in a few days. So the story of her delivery is still fresh-ish in my mind. It is amazing how quickly those details fade when life is filled with new details about eating, pooping, the first smile, the first bath, the first field trip, etc. Life, it is amazing.
Anyway, when I had my son 2 1/2 years ago, I hurt my back during his delivery. Bad. I barely walked for 6 weeks following his birth, saw a chiropractor 3 times a week and lived 23 hours a day in a glider, the only piece of furniture I could get in and out of. It was bad.
My labor progressed so quickly that I wasn't able to get an epidural or pain relief of any kind. I pushed for over 3 hours and the pain was excruciating. But it was hard to tell what was "normal" labor and what was my back issues.
So when it came time to deliver another baby, I was hesitant. Nervous. Apprehensive. Ok, occasionally scared sh!tless.
I consulted with my chiropractor, a very capable woman who had a rough time delivering her 3 year old daughter and my midwife, a trusted source of baby delivering information. I knew both of these women were intimately (sometimes really intimately) aware of my situation and would have my best interest at heart.
So when both (BOTH!) of them advised against an epidural I was a little heartsick, but I took their advice.
For most of the delivery I was able to utter the words "still better than last time" to my husband and midwife. Because, it was. Yes, it hurt, but I was able to walk and talk and breathe through the contractions. I was pumped. I could do this!
Until I couldn't.
It eventually became apparent that my daughter was coming out with her hand and arm by her face. In a space barely capable of handling a round soft head, without the additional harsh angles of elbows and hands.
So, once again, things got painful. In my head I was thinking "I can't do this, what was I thinking not getting the epidural, I'm NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER doing this again, OUCH!!!, I can't do this!" The pain was terrible and I screamed. A lot. I'm typically not the rowdy loud person, so I am shocked at the screams I am able to produce. But, yeah, it hurt. A lot.
One request I made of my husband during delivery was to say the words "you can do it, you can do it, you can do it" over and over and over again to me. I wasn't hearing that in my head and I knew I HAD to do it, so I just had to buckle down and do it. I relied on his believing in me and telling me I could do it when I couldn't tell myself.
But I felt pretty lousy. I was disappointed in myself for not being able to believe in myself. I was feeling guilty for not performing with more grace the second time around.
But when our midwife came to check me out less than 36 hours after our daughters birth (with zero back issues, thank you very much) she congratulated me on being tough and doing so well. I dismissed her praise but she continued "No, you hung in there and you did it. Not once did you say you couldn't do it. You (meaning my husband and I) make a great team."
Huh. Its true, I wasn't hearing my voice say I could do it, but I did the next best thing. Found a voice I trusted to tell me I could.
So in a moment when I was feeling less than strong and capable, other people were seeing me as strong, able, tough, resilient and part of a great team.
Sometimes, a different perspective can make all the difference...who's perspective will you consider today?
sky's the limit
"And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?" - Rumi
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Saturday, October 22, 2011
When you get what you want...
Life is funny, isn't it?
We haven't sold our first house yet, in fact have not had much action on it at all. So we've done some preliminary research into renting the property. We're of course very lucky that this is even an option, and find the positive in either outcome.
Lately I have been struck by a very human reaction when we get what we wanted. We still mourn what we've lost. It's true that no matter what we get in life, it means giving up something else.
We love the street we live on. We love our neighbors. We love our house. But we've found our dream house, and expect to love that house, street and neighborhood as well. But it still means giving up something we've loved.
When we consider selling the house v.s. renting it out, we're again giving something up. Selling means some immediate cash in our savings, though not a lot, but it is definitely a simpler outcome. When we consider keeping the property and renting it out, we can foresee the possibility of greater financial return/ security in the long run, but it means less immediate security and more immediate stress and uncertainty.
Obviously we have little control over the situation, as we can't will a buyer with deep pockets out of thin air (I've tried), nor can we use a crystal ball to predict real estate values in 5 or 10 or 20 years. So we're doing what everyone does: making the best decisions we can based on the information we do have, trusting it will all work out, and trusting our ability to roll with whatever happens.
Still, whatever happens, I know there's a part of us that will wonder about the promise of the other outcome.
We haven't sold our first house yet, in fact have not had much action on it at all. So we've done some preliminary research into renting the property. We're of course very lucky that this is even an option, and find the positive in either outcome.
Lately I have been struck by a very human reaction when we get what we wanted. We still mourn what we've lost. It's true that no matter what we get in life, it means giving up something else.
We love the street we live on. We love our neighbors. We love our house. But we've found our dream house, and expect to love that house, street and neighborhood as well. But it still means giving up something we've loved.
When we consider selling the house v.s. renting it out, we're again giving something up. Selling means some immediate cash in our savings, though not a lot, but it is definitely a simpler outcome. When we consider keeping the property and renting it out, we can foresee the possibility of greater financial return/ security in the long run, but it means less immediate security and more immediate stress and uncertainty.
Obviously we have little control over the situation, as we can't will a buyer with deep pockets out of thin air (I've tried), nor can we use a crystal ball to predict real estate values in 5 or 10 or 20 years. So we're doing what everyone does: making the best decisions we can based on the information we do have, trusting it will all work out, and trusting our ability to roll with whatever happens.
Still, whatever happens, I know there's a part of us that will wonder about the promise of the other outcome.
Monday, October 10, 2011
I'm really big time now!
I'm about to get my corner office and a parking space with my name on it.
Many of my dreams are quite nearly filled: healthy family, great marriage, ability to take care of my family, sense of fulfillment. About the only thing missing is the bi-weekly PTA meeting.
I'm wildly blessed to be so near accomplishing so much so soon. There was a time any and all of these goals and dreams seemed impossibly out of reach. These dreams were no less lofty than a Nobel prize, Oscar, Emmy or President to me. Not once did I suppose these dreams were "settling" or doing what I was "supposed" to do. And I still don't. To accomplish the family and life I have took a tremendous amount of work, education, practice, self-awareness and effort. I'm very proud of what I've accomplished and those accompanying me in my journey.
And I'm sort of excited for the next step too.
The next step is unplanned, uncertain, wide open. Yes, I'll raise my children, date my husband, and put my all into it and love every second of it. My goals of being a great, loving wife, Mom, sister and friend remain.
But the rest is a blank canvas. Job, career, self improvement. Where will I go? What will I learn? Who will I meet?
I can't wait for adventures with my family. Seeing the world, growing together, learning about each other, ourselves.
I expect I'll find causes to be passionate about. I anticipate finding something in the professional world that I can pour myself into and succeed. I can see us sharing vacations around the world, enjoying each other as we explore. And I can't wait.
I may be at the end of this portion of my life's "to-do" list and have a great sense of peace and accomplishment. I also have a sense of newness and excitement and anticipation for the next phase too.
Who knows what it will bring?
Many of my dreams are quite nearly filled: healthy family, great marriage, ability to take care of my family, sense of fulfillment. About the only thing missing is the bi-weekly PTA meeting.
I'm wildly blessed to be so near accomplishing so much so soon. There was a time any and all of these goals and dreams seemed impossibly out of reach. These dreams were no less lofty than a Nobel prize, Oscar, Emmy or President to me. Not once did I suppose these dreams were "settling" or doing what I was "supposed" to do. And I still don't. To accomplish the family and life I have took a tremendous amount of work, education, practice, self-awareness and effort. I'm very proud of what I've accomplished and those accompanying me in my journey.
And I'm sort of excited for the next step too.
The next step is unplanned, uncertain, wide open. Yes, I'll raise my children, date my husband, and put my all into it and love every second of it. My goals of being a great, loving wife, Mom, sister and friend remain.
But the rest is a blank canvas. Job, career, self improvement. Where will I go? What will I learn? Who will I meet?
I can't wait for adventures with my family. Seeing the world, growing together, learning about each other, ourselves.
I expect I'll find causes to be passionate about. I anticipate finding something in the professional world that I can pour myself into and succeed. I can see us sharing vacations around the world, enjoying each other as we explore. And I can't wait.
I may be at the end of this portion of my life's "to-do" list and have a great sense of peace and accomplishment. I also have a sense of newness and excitement and anticipation for the next phase too.
Who knows what it will bring?
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving! What's for dinner?
I've come across a lot of articles recently about poverty, the disappearing middle class and the continuing depressed economy. They aren't easy stories to read.
I've been poor.
When I was young, 4 or 5 years old, my parents declared bankruptcy. I remember the 5 of us sleeping in one bed with little or no heat in the house. Food was scarce, sharing one box of macaroni and cheese for dinner, rarely having fresh fruits or vegetables. When I was 12 my parents divorced, and my mother who hadn't worked in 16 years was left to raise 4 children with no income. We lived on food stamps and received food baskets from local churches, which one year supplied us with Thanksgiving dinner. I'll never forget that basket. It looked like months worth of food to me, and we probably stretched it out for weeks.
I remember the time a neighbor had us over for dinner and served spaghetti WITH meatballs AND garlic bread. She told me years later that my comment "this is like two dinners at once!" brought tears to her eyes.
We did not get new clothes, except for holidays when our grandmother would buy our Easter or Christmas outfits. Otherwise it was all second hand from neighbors or cousins.
Going to the doctor was often a luxury we couldn't afford, and we didn't have health insurance for years at a time. We would go to the clinic to get our shots and physicals so we could register at school.
Things many consider inexpensive luxuries were not present in our house. Paper towels and tisssues were for "rich people" and, there were honestly times we did not have toilet paper.
When inspection was due on our clunker cars, my mother would ask the mechanic to show her how to make the necessary repairs because she couldn't afford to pay him to do them.
Birthday parties and extra curricular activities weren't even discussed. We knew we couldn't afford them.
My point is not to gain sympathy, but rather to point out how pervasive and perilous poverty is. Especially for children. There is an innate lack of security when basic necessities of heat, food, and health care are lacking. How can they worry about letters, numbers, hopes and dreams when all they can dream about is a warm full meal? This lack of security is not something that goes away when the refrigerator is full.
I just read an article on CNN about a new character named Lily that Sesame Street is introducing in a new one hour special. Lily is struggling with "food insecurity" (inadequate access to food for a healthy lifestyle). Hooray for Sesame putting a face to a problem so many children are facing. But how sad that it is a problem needing a face.
I feel incredibley blessed and aware of the fact that One Philly Daddy and I have never had to worry about feeding our family. We've never had to choose between food and medicine, and if there's no milk in the fridge, it's because we haven't been to the store yet, not because we can't afford it.
These things are not a given for me and I truly appreciate being able to provide milk AND juice AND snacks AND meals AND anything else my family may need. It is a blessing I do not take for granted.
So when the envelope came in the mail today, asking for donations to feed people Thanksgiving dinner at a local shelter, I wrote a check, instead of just thinking I should.
What good are blessings if they aren't shared?
I've been poor.
When I was young, 4 or 5 years old, my parents declared bankruptcy. I remember the 5 of us sleeping in one bed with little or no heat in the house. Food was scarce, sharing one box of macaroni and cheese for dinner, rarely having fresh fruits or vegetables. When I was 12 my parents divorced, and my mother who hadn't worked in 16 years was left to raise 4 children with no income. We lived on food stamps and received food baskets from local churches, which one year supplied us with Thanksgiving dinner. I'll never forget that basket. It looked like months worth of food to me, and we probably stretched it out for weeks.
I remember the time a neighbor had us over for dinner and served spaghetti WITH meatballs AND garlic bread. She told me years later that my comment "this is like two dinners at once!" brought tears to her eyes.
We did not get new clothes, except for holidays when our grandmother would buy our Easter or Christmas outfits. Otherwise it was all second hand from neighbors or cousins.
Going to the doctor was often a luxury we couldn't afford, and we didn't have health insurance for years at a time. We would go to the clinic to get our shots and physicals so we could register at school.
Things many consider inexpensive luxuries were not present in our house. Paper towels and tisssues were for "rich people" and, there were honestly times we did not have toilet paper.
When inspection was due on our clunker cars, my mother would ask the mechanic to show her how to make the necessary repairs because she couldn't afford to pay him to do them.
Birthday parties and extra curricular activities weren't even discussed. We knew we couldn't afford them.
My point is not to gain sympathy, but rather to point out how pervasive and perilous poverty is. Especially for children. There is an innate lack of security when basic necessities of heat, food, and health care are lacking. How can they worry about letters, numbers, hopes and dreams when all they can dream about is a warm full meal? This lack of security is not something that goes away when the refrigerator is full.
I just read an article on CNN about a new character named Lily that Sesame Street is introducing in a new one hour special. Lily is struggling with "food insecurity" (inadequate access to food for a healthy lifestyle). Hooray for Sesame putting a face to a problem so many children are facing. But how sad that it is a problem needing a face.
I feel incredibley blessed and aware of the fact that One Philly Daddy and I have never had to worry about feeding our family. We've never had to choose between food and medicine, and if there's no milk in the fridge, it's because we haven't been to the store yet, not because we can't afford it.
These things are not a given for me and I truly appreciate being able to provide milk AND juice AND snacks AND meals AND anything else my family may need. It is a blessing I do not take for granted.
So when the envelope came in the mail today, asking for donations to feed people Thanksgiving dinner at a local shelter, I wrote a check, instead of just thinking I should.
What good are blessings if they aren't shared?
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
No news is....well, it's no news
I continue on my quest of positivity, though with a few trips, stumbles and spills along the way.
I'll admit, the house has only been listed 2 weeks and 4 days, so a bite already would've been pretty damn shocking in this market. I know that, I get that. It would just be really, really nice to be moving forward with the packing/moving portion of this experiment. The keep the house clean so strangers will want to buy the house portion of the experiment is already tiresome. It's like living in limbo or something.
I'd be happy to live in a sea of boxes, cook on 2 pots, eat off paper plates, and remove all artwork from our walls. Alas, this does nothing for the "buy me and live in me" quaint charm we're aiming for.
So I'm trying to make progress on the ways I can: packing up and giving away baby items no longer needed, purchasing moving boxes and tape, planning our get away. We did a December move once before. Minus one dog and two (one and a half?) babies, and it was stressful. Once October gets going, everyone's schedule fills up with shopping, parties, baking, decorating and the like. So I know time is of the essence here. Oh yeah, and this belly ain't gettin smaller anytime soon.
One Philly Daddy is gracious and tolerant of my stress, trying his darndest to calm and reassure me.
So I'm going to take a breath, focus on what I can for now and let everything else "be."
But, hey, if you're in the market for a charming twin in a fabulous school district - let me know!
I'll admit, the house has only been listed 2 weeks and 4 days, so a bite already would've been pretty damn shocking in this market. I know that, I get that. It would just be really, really nice to be moving forward with the packing/moving portion of this experiment. The keep the house clean so strangers will want to buy the house portion of the experiment is already tiresome. It's like living in limbo or something.
I'd be happy to live in a sea of boxes, cook on 2 pots, eat off paper plates, and remove all artwork from our walls. Alas, this does nothing for the "buy me and live in me" quaint charm we're aiming for.
So I'm trying to make progress on the ways I can: packing up and giving away baby items no longer needed, purchasing moving boxes and tape, planning our get away. We did a December move once before. Minus one dog and two (one and a half?) babies, and it was stressful. Once October gets going, everyone's schedule fills up with shopping, parties, baking, decorating and the like. So I know time is of the essence here. Oh yeah, and this belly ain't gettin smaller anytime soon.
One Philly Daddy is gracious and tolerant of my stress, trying his darndest to calm and reassure me.
So I'm going to take a breath, focus on what I can for now and let everything else "be."
But, hey, if you're in the market for a charming twin in a fabulous school district - let me know!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
I'll be the first person to preach the importance of positive thinking and the idea that you bring things to yourself and your life by what you think. In short, what you expect is typically what you get.
I've even asked One Philly Daddy to not say things like "One Philly Son is so great, our second child will be terrible!" and " our luck is bound to change."
I. Don't. Believe. That.
And I'm not interested in welcoming negative expectations in my life.
I've seen this in action on both the positive and negative end. Sure, sometimes "life" happens but there seem to be those people who are "lucky" and things go their way (in my experience, they are also seeking a way to find the positive in whatever happens, so which comes first?) and those who are "cursed". You know the ones who "never" catch a break or for whom "everything" goes wrong.
My point is that, poop happens to everyone, but what you do with it, how you think about it, how you think about life and yourself makes a big difference in how happy or unhappy you may be.
But I have to say, selling our house is putting my positivity to the test!
I'm realistic, but expecting things to work out, and doing everything in my power to make that happen. That means accepting every request to see the house, whether with a week or 10 minutes notice, staging the house, working with a trusted realtor, keeping my house clean, etc.
But all that doesn't do any good if the people requesting the showing DON'T SHOW UP.
Inhale. Exhale.
Argh! It has happened to us twice already this week. While I understand life happens and things come up, this really seems disrespectful and rude, on many levels.
But I'm clinging to positivity. At least trying too. The right buyers will come. Soon. And they will love our house. Our move will go smoothly. We will happily welcome New Philly Daughter to a happy (if not totally unpacked) home.
I'm positively sure about it!
I've even asked One Philly Daddy to not say things like "One Philly Son is so great, our second child will be terrible!" and " our luck is bound to change."
I. Don't. Believe. That.
And I'm not interested in welcoming negative expectations in my life.
I've seen this in action on both the positive and negative end. Sure, sometimes "life" happens but there seem to be those people who are "lucky" and things go their way (in my experience, they are also seeking a way to find the positive in whatever happens, so which comes first?) and those who are "cursed". You know the ones who "never" catch a break or for whom "everything" goes wrong.
My point is that, poop happens to everyone, but what you do with it, how you think about it, how you think about life and yourself makes a big difference in how happy or unhappy you may be.
But I have to say, selling our house is putting my positivity to the test!
I'm realistic, but expecting things to work out, and doing everything in my power to make that happen. That means accepting every request to see the house, whether with a week or 10 minutes notice, staging the house, working with a trusted realtor, keeping my house clean, etc.
But all that doesn't do any good if the people requesting the showing DON'T SHOW UP.
Inhale. Exhale.
Argh! It has happened to us twice already this week. While I understand life happens and things come up, this really seems disrespectful and rude, on many levels.
But I'm clinging to positivity. At least trying too. The right buyers will come. Soon. And they will love our house. Our move will go smoothly. We will happily welcome New Philly Daughter to a happy (if not totally unpacked) home.
I'm positively sure about it!
Friday, September 30, 2011
I'm sorry, now THIS is crazy
Yesterday I posted that our pace recently has been fast and furious.
I didn't know $#%* yesterday.
Thursday started with my cleaning the upstairs. We have a showing scheduled for Saturday and an Open House Sunday. We've been hoping for more showings and try to be prepared all the time, but there are things like washing sheets, making beds etc that need to be done. And, as much as our house is "staged" day to day, there are items essential to daily life (dog food bowls, trash bags, high chairs, toys) that need to be cleaned, hidden, moved for an actual showing.
Around 10:20 I got a call for someone who wanted to see the house at 11:15. Like in an hour. Ahem. Luckily One Philly Daddy was able to rush home and we put away the microwave and toaster, the high chair and toys. Swept the floors, wiped the counters, turned on the right lights, made the beds, arranged flowers and ran out the door with One Philly Son and our two dogs. Thank god for my sister-in-law who let's us crash at her house for an hour with our dogs.
We returned home at 12:30 to realize NO ONE showed up. Argh!
One Philly Daddy returned to work, One Philly Son took a nap and I pulled a few things out to return to living. Toys out, pretty flowers away.
Fast forward to 5:30, One Philly Family is gathered in the kitchen about to eat our dinner, like literally, food on fork, headed to mouth. Phone rings. An agent is in town and wants to see the house. Now.
As calmly as I can, I ask for 10 minutes. We re-hide high chairs and toys, leash up the dogs, throw One Philly Son in a stroller, hide our dinner in the oven, put out our sell sheets and run out the door.
One Philly Son wants to be held during these stressful high energy moments, and we have a dog who likes to escape so it can be hectic. But we went for our walk and an hour later we were all back in the house smiling, laughing and finally eating.
One Philly Daddy and I have different responses to these situations: I get uber-focused and a bit manic in my single mindedness. One Philly Daddy says "what should I do next?" and "this is awesome"! Both are certainly valid reactions, but we're certainly not on the same page for about 20 minutes. The good news is that we usually are at about minute 22, when my "get-it-done, get-it-done" adrenaline wears off and his "yay-yay-yay-yay" dials back a notch. Then, the fun starts!
Do you think they like the house? Will they put in an offer? When? For how much? They'll love the house, right, WE loved the house! Remember when we saw this house and we wanted it so bad, and we were so nervous? Remember how we knew right away we loved the house? Gosh, isn't our new house great too, can you not wait to get in there?!? So cool!
In short, our story takes over. We re-read the chapters we've already finished, reveling in the plot twists now that we've been to the last page. We share our joys, fears and hopes. We slide to the edge of our seats, staring unblinking into the future to see what it will bring, feeling eager and excited.
Now, this, this is exciting.
I didn't know $#%* yesterday.
Thursday started with my cleaning the upstairs. We have a showing scheduled for Saturday and an Open House Sunday. We've been hoping for more showings and try to be prepared all the time, but there are things like washing sheets, making beds etc that need to be done. And, as much as our house is "staged" day to day, there are items essential to daily life (dog food bowls, trash bags, high chairs, toys) that need to be cleaned, hidden, moved for an actual showing.
Around 10:20 I got a call for someone who wanted to see the house at 11:15. Like in an hour. Ahem. Luckily One Philly Daddy was able to rush home and we put away the microwave and toaster, the high chair and toys. Swept the floors, wiped the counters, turned on the right lights, made the beds, arranged flowers and ran out the door with One Philly Son and our two dogs. Thank god for my sister-in-law who let's us crash at her house for an hour with our dogs.
We returned home at 12:30 to realize NO ONE showed up. Argh!
One Philly Daddy returned to work, One Philly Son took a nap and I pulled a few things out to return to living. Toys out, pretty flowers away.
Fast forward to 5:30, One Philly Family is gathered in the kitchen about to eat our dinner, like literally, food on fork, headed to mouth. Phone rings. An agent is in town and wants to see the house. Now.
As calmly as I can, I ask for 10 minutes. We re-hide high chairs and toys, leash up the dogs, throw One Philly Son in a stroller, hide our dinner in the oven, put out our sell sheets and run out the door.
One Philly Son wants to be held during these stressful high energy moments, and we have a dog who likes to escape so it can be hectic. But we went for our walk and an hour later we were all back in the house smiling, laughing and finally eating.
One Philly Daddy and I have different responses to these situations: I get uber-focused and a bit manic in my single mindedness. One Philly Daddy says "what should I do next?" and "this is awesome"! Both are certainly valid reactions, but we're certainly not on the same page for about 20 minutes. The good news is that we usually are at about minute 22, when my "get-it-done, get-it-done" adrenaline wears off and his "yay-yay-yay-yay" dials back a notch. Then, the fun starts!
Do you think they like the house? Will they put in an offer? When? For how much? They'll love the house, right, WE loved the house! Remember when we saw this house and we wanted it so bad, and we were so nervous? Remember how we knew right away we loved the house? Gosh, isn't our new house great too, can you not wait to get in there?!? So cool!
In short, our story takes over. We re-read the chapters we've already finished, reveling in the plot twists now that we've been to the last page. We share our joys, fears and hopes. We slide to the edge of our seats, staring unblinking into the future to see what it will bring, feeling eager and excited.
Now, this, this is exciting.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Nothing is forever...
So we're initiating a lot of changes in our world right now: One Philly Son has started nursery school, moving to a new bedroom and moving out of the crib and into a big boy bed. In the even bigger picture we're expecting our daughter in January and are moving in December. The home we live in now is currently listed for sale.
We've had a crazy pace the past month, starting with reconsidering the dream home we chose not to go for while in the midst of Hurricane Irene to having our offer accepted, listing and showing our home. The pace has been fast and steady.
But given the stresses we're under, I am proud of the "little" things we've managed to focus on and accomplish in the midst of that storm: One Philly Son knows all letters but Q (how often is that used anyway?), can count to 10, is loving nursery school (he's the only boy in his class!) and is successfully transitioning to his role as a "big kid". We couldn't be prouder.
We've also thrown in the random midwife appointment, 2 ultrasounds (stubborn girl wasn't cooperative the first time, and the professionals felt it was worth another look), a host of family and social events.
I feel like One Philly Daughter is getting lost in the shuffle a bit, but since the end of the first trimester, she's made it pretty easy on me. Our dogs are responding to the stress by leaving "gifts" so I'm also attempting a daily walk for them.
Sigh. I just made myself tired!
But I am proud that we've only had a few meltdowns, mostly brief and contained. Everything that needs to get done is getting done, occasionally even with some flair and grace.
Every task we successfully complete, every milestone we reach even in the midst of all this proves to me that we're on the right path.
We've had a crazy pace the past month, starting with reconsidering the dream home we chose not to go for while in the midst of Hurricane Irene to having our offer accepted, listing and showing our home. The pace has been fast and steady.
But given the stresses we're under, I am proud of the "little" things we've managed to focus on and accomplish in the midst of that storm: One Philly Son knows all letters but Q (how often is that used anyway?), can count to 10, is loving nursery school (he's the only boy in his class!) and is successfully transitioning to his role as a "big kid". We couldn't be prouder.
We've also thrown in the random midwife appointment, 2 ultrasounds (stubborn girl wasn't cooperative the first time, and the professionals felt it was worth another look), a host of family and social events.
I feel like One Philly Daughter is getting lost in the shuffle a bit, but since the end of the first trimester, she's made it pretty easy on me. Our dogs are responding to the stress by leaving "gifts" so I'm also attempting a daily walk for them.
Sigh. I just made myself tired!
But I am proud that we've only had a few meltdowns, mostly brief and contained. Everything that needs to get done is getting done, occasionally even with some flair and grace.
Every task we successfully complete, every milestone we reach even in the midst of all this proves to me that we're on the right path.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
I am again faced with the question of how MY choices will affect One Philly Son, and how I hope I'm doing right by him.
Oh, yeah, not to mention there's soon going to be a New Philly Daughter who will have her own sets of needs, wants, and desires to be considered.
But, back to the case in point: in the next 5 months One Philly Son will experience some massive changes in his world. Starting nursery school, new baby, new room. And, just for kicks, we've decided to throw "new home" into the mix as well. So he's currently experiencing a fair amount of home turmoil as we prepare to show and sell our house.
Buying a house now was not the plan. But, as I've learned, even the best plans need to be flexible when circumstances warrant it. And the opportunity we have right now is worth the turmoil of uprooting our family in the midst of my pregnancy. (Even though a short time ago my opinion was different http://onephillymommy.blogspot.com/2011/07/if-youve-been-to-my-house-since-may-you.html?m=1 )
In addition to trying to manage the paperwork and deadlines of purchasing and selling a home, packing and staging our home and praying for a swift sell, I am really focused on One Philly Son. I've read the best way to prepare a toddler for a new sibling is to understand feelings of jealousy or resentment, to explain as best you can, to keep stable the things you can, and to give some undivided attention each day. I'm hoping the same techniques will apply to the other changes we're initiating.
Even though my head may be full with details and plans for packing, selling, moving, and baby preparing I want to spend some time each day reading or playing with One Philly Son. Not mindlessly "uh-huh"-ing him, checking it off my list, but REALLY focusing on him.
If anything, I consider this a gift, not a burden. For one thing, it reminds me of what is important and "why" we're doing all this in the first place: we believe all this is in the collective best interest of our family in the long run. But more than that, being a mother has forced me to take a hard look at getting overwhelmed, scared, stressed, aiming for unattainable perfection and being full of doubt. These things never really served me, but now that I can see the ramifications reflected on a 2 year old face I see how truly detrimental they can be.
If I hope for One Philly Son to be resilient, calm, trusting of his abilities and willing to live life, I need to exhibit these skills myself. The words and actions I choose need to support and strengthen my family rather than fill them with worry and dread.
Indeed, being pregnant makes the ramifications of that stress more important too. My ability to cope and roll with the punches has immediate and physical impacts on my daughter.
All these changes are really forcing a hard look at some baggage, and I'm making smart decisions about what to take and what to leave. In the boxes and my head.
Oh, yeah, not to mention there's soon going to be a New Philly Daughter who will have her own sets of needs, wants, and desires to be considered.
But, back to the case in point: in the next 5 months One Philly Son will experience some massive changes in his world. Starting nursery school, new baby, new room. And, just for kicks, we've decided to throw "new home" into the mix as well. So he's currently experiencing a fair amount of home turmoil as we prepare to show and sell our house.
Buying a house now was not the plan. But, as I've learned, even the best plans need to be flexible when circumstances warrant it. And the opportunity we have right now is worth the turmoil of uprooting our family in the midst of my pregnancy. (Even though a short time ago my opinion was different http://onephillymommy.blogspot.com/2011/07/if-youve-been-to-my-house-since-may-you.html?m=1 )
In addition to trying to manage the paperwork and deadlines of purchasing and selling a home, packing and staging our home and praying for a swift sell, I am really focused on One Philly Son. I've read the best way to prepare a toddler for a new sibling is to understand feelings of jealousy or resentment, to explain as best you can, to keep stable the things you can, and to give some undivided attention each day. I'm hoping the same techniques will apply to the other changes we're initiating.
Even though my head may be full with details and plans for packing, selling, moving, and baby preparing I want to spend some time each day reading or playing with One Philly Son. Not mindlessly "uh-huh"-ing him, checking it off my list, but REALLY focusing on him.
If anything, I consider this a gift, not a burden. For one thing, it reminds me of what is important and "why" we're doing all this in the first place: we believe all this is in the collective best interest of our family in the long run. But more than that, being a mother has forced me to take a hard look at getting overwhelmed, scared, stressed, aiming for unattainable perfection and being full of doubt. These things never really served me, but now that I can see the ramifications reflected on a 2 year old face I see how truly detrimental they can be.
If I hope for One Philly Son to be resilient, calm, trusting of his abilities and willing to live life, I need to exhibit these skills myself. The words and actions I choose need to support and strengthen my family rather than fill them with worry and dread.
Indeed, being pregnant makes the ramifications of that stress more important too. My ability to cope and roll with the punches has immediate and physical impacts on my daughter.
All these changes are really forcing a hard look at some baggage, and I'm making smart decisions about what to take and what to leave. In the boxes and my head.
Monday, August 29, 2011
24 hours and counting...
24 hours from now One Philly Daddy and I will be getting an ultrasound of One Philly Baby, expected in January 2012.
The closer we get the more nervous I get. Luckily, this is not a surprise. I can tend toward worrying and spend a lot of time pre-event anticipating various outcomes.
Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for the prospect of identifying the gender of our little one and seeing him/her for the last time before we meet in person, but I'm most looking forward to the "everything looks healthy" announcement. I know I have done nothing "wrong" but know I would probably feel responsible if anything were wrong.
The truth is, One Philly Daddy, myself and One Philly Son will love, adore and nuture this new baby no matter what, and he/she will be welcomed with joy and love regardless of the details. So I should probably move from the anxiety camp straight to the excited camp. Because, regardless of what we hear tomorrow, we'll know more than we do today and we'll be another step closer to getting to know and learn about the newest member of our family.
Names, colors, outfits, hopes, dreams and wishes will take on a more precise vision. Our new baby will become a more defined part of our family with every milestone, regardless of the details. The strength, love, and dedication we bring to this family is irrevelant to gender or possible problems.
So I'm going to stop fretting about the details and just look forward to learning more about New Philly Baby.
The closer we get the more nervous I get. Luckily, this is not a surprise. I can tend toward worrying and spend a lot of time pre-event anticipating various outcomes.
Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for the prospect of identifying the gender of our little one and seeing him/her for the last time before we meet in person, but I'm most looking forward to the "everything looks healthy" announcement. I know I have done nothing "wrong" but know I would probably feel responsible if anything were wrong.
The truth is, One Philly Daddy, myself and One Philly Son will love, adore and nuture this new baby no matter what, and he/she will be welcomed with joy and love regardless of the details. So I should probably move from the anxiety camp straight to the excited camp. Because, regardless of what we hear tomorrow, we'll know more than we do today and we'll be another step closer to getting to know and learn about the newest member of our family.
Names, colors, outfits, hopes, dreams and wishes will take on a more precise vision. Our new baby will become a more defined part of our family with every milestone, regardless of the details. The strength, love, and dedication we bring to this family is irrevelant to gender or possible problems.
So I'm going to stop fretting about the details and just look forward to learning more about New Philly Baby.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Date night
One Philly Son is in a whining phase. I get it, he's frustrated. He knows it's possible to stack 8 blocks high and disintegrates when the tower falls at 6. He knows the doggie fits in that car, but when he can't get the doggie back out, full melt down. He knows the letter magnets stick to the fridge, but whimpers when he can't reach them all. I get it. He's struggling with how he wants to be compared to his current skill set. Isn't that something we all struggle with?
But, for all this understanding, I still don't have the overwhelming desire to be around the whining ALL the time! So tonight, I left Whiny Philly Son with One Philly Daddy and took myself to the movies. What I saw wasn't as important as 2 hours of not saying " it's ok; put that down; do you want a drink; be careful; it's ok honey, sometimes the blocks fall" on a repeating 12 hour loop.
I enjoyed the solitude, the quiet in my perfectly quaint town. I returned home at 9 pm, at least an hour past when we are normally out and about. I saw couples older than me, younger than me, groups of friends drinking and laughing on patios, people holding hands, eating ice cream, sharing dinner.
It occurred to me that I might feel sad because my life no longer has room for such luxuries or that I sat alone in the theater.
But what I felt was filled up, brimming and over flowing. That I have a healthy baby within me (see I wasn't really alone), that I have a darling son who is growing and learning and becoming more amazing each day, that I have a husband who joyfully sends me on my way when I need to take me on a date. I've got a great life of my choosing and I feel blessed.
And that's nothing to whine about.
But, for all this understanding, I still don't have the overwhelming desire to be around the whining ALL the time! So tonight, I left Whiny Philly Son with One Philly Daddy and took myself to the movies. What I saw wasn't as important as 2 hours of not saying " it's ok; put that down; do you want a drink; be careful; it's ok honey, sometimes the blocks fall" on a repeating 12 hour loop.
I enjoyed the solitude, the quiet in my perfectly quaint town. I returned home at 9 pm, at least an hour past when we are normally out and about. I saw couples older than me, younger than me, groups of friends drinking and laughing on patios, people holding hands, eating ice cream, sharing dinner.
It occurred to me that I might feel sad because my life no longer has room for such luxuries or that I sat alone in the theater.
But what I felt was filled up, brimming and over flowing. That I have a healthy baby within me (see I wasn't really alone), that I have a darling son who is growing and learning and becoming more amazing each day, that I have a husband who joyfully sends me on my way when I need to take me on a date. I've got a great life of my choosing and I feel blessed.
And that's nothing to whine about.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
We'll miss you Miss Barbara!
I've been taking One Philly Son to our local library for free story time since he was only a few weeks old, before I returned to work when he was 10 weeks old. The groups are split by age, which means he is nearing the time to leave his 0-23 month old group and move onto the 2 year old group.
We've grown to know and love our group, and will miss it. We know the finger plays, we love the songs (Itsy Bitsy Spider and I'm a Little Teapot are favorites) and One Philly Son now LOVES to turn on the smiling toy that leads us in "If you're happy and you know it" to end story time. Miss Barbara knows us and accepts One Philly Son running laps around the room while she reads. One Philly Son is so in tune with our story time that he "looks" for Miss Barbara in her office next to the story room when he's decided it's time to start.
I've attended two of the 2 year old story times to ease into the new group and practices. The teacher expects a little more in the way of sitting, which One Philly Son is not quite used too. But I can see glimmers of loving this. He's not ready for sitting through the longer books yet, but we played "ring-around-the-posey" today and his eyes lit up. Another big hit was our twirling song, where even the grown ups stand up and twirl, march, and hop. We haven't made it all the way through a new story time, but I'm sure we will.
Still, it's another reminder of all the ways One Philly Son is growing up and the circle of his life is growing and expanding to include more and more. I'm gonna miss Miss Barbara for lots if reasons.
We've grown to know and love our group, and will miss it. We know the finger plays, we love the songs (Itsy Bitsy Spider and I'm a Little Teapot are favorites) and One Philly Son now LOVES to turn on the smiling toy that leads us in "If you're happy and you know it" to end story time. Miss Barbara knows us and accepts One Philly Son running laps around the room while she reads. One Philly Son is so in tune with our story time that he "looks" for Miss Barbara in her office next to the story room when he's decided it's time to start.
I've attended two of the 2 year old story times to ease into the new group and practices. The teacher expects a little more in the way of sitting, which One Philly Son is not quite used too. But I can see glimmers of loving this. He's not ready for sitting through the longer books yet, but we played "ring-around-the-posey" today and his eyes lit up. Another big hit was our twirling song, where even the grown ups stand up and twirl, march, and hop. We haven't made it all the way through a new story time, but I'm sure we will.
Still, it's another reminder of all the ways One Philly Son is growing up and the circle of his life is growing and expanding to include more and more. I'm gonna miss Miss Barbara for lots if reasons.
Monday, August 8, 2011
I wish I may, I wish I might have this wish I wish tonight...
I'm reading Shania Twain's autobiography, a story that starts with her birth and covers her childhood, professional life and a few public heartbreaks along the way. All I can think is "oh no, not another one". Not another helpless child exposed to anger, violence and fear at the hands of her parents. Not another child growing up hungry, unsure, never knowing what the next day will bring.
She's very good at acknowledging the strains and stresses that explain the "how" and "why" her childhood was as it was, and she's far more understanding and forgiving than she needs to be, in my opinion. But that's very good for her.
Still, it's a little heartbreaking to know that fear and confusion are far too common a childhood experience. I'll give you that every child views his or her parents with a critical eye, with the realizations that they aren't perfect after all. But abuse and neglect are not mere human inadequacies.
If you were a child who felt fear and pain as a child, please hear these things I hope you already know: it was not your fault. No child deserves to fear those who should protect and love above all else. You did the best you could. You are loved. You are cherished. You are stronger than what happened to you. You can make it different. You. Are. Loved.
If you were what I'm really hoping is just a silent majority, who's books would be "boring" and your parents provided for you, loved you, protected you, taught you, I am relieved to hear such a childhood exists. It seems far too many are not peaceful and safe. (I'm not talking about squabbles over who sits where or whether or not baths have to happen...)
Let's all do ourselves a favor, please. No more scared kids. No more hungry kids. No more kids confused about things like personal safety, value and love.
If only my wishing it were enough to make it true.
She's very good at acknowledging the strains and stresses that explain the "how" and "why" her childhood was as it was, and she's far more understanding and forgiving than she needs to be, in my opinion. But that's very good for her.
Still, it's a little heartbreaking to know that fear and confusion are far too common a childhood experience. I'll give you that every child views his or her parents with a critical eye, with the realizations that they aren't perfect after all. But abuse and neglect are not mere human inadequacies.
If you were a child who felt fear and pain as a child, please hear these things I hope you already know: it was not your fault. No child deserves to fear those who should protect and love above all else. You did the best you could. You are loved. You are cherished. You are stronger than what happened to you. You can make it different. You. Are. Loved.
If you were what I'm really hoping is just a silent majority, who's books would be "boring" and your parents provided for you, loved you, protected you, taught you, I am relieved to hear such a childhood exists. It seems far too many are not peaceful and safe. (I'm not talking about squabbles over who sits where or whether or not baths have to happen...)
Let's all do ourselves a favor, please. No more scared kids. No more hungry kids. No more kids confused about things like personal safety, value and love.
If only my wishing it were enough to make it true.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Where does the time go? I can not believe it is already August. I can not believe One Philly Son will be TWO years old this month. How can that be?!?
I've been thinking January is ages and ages away. But someone recently put it all in perspective for me: it's August, which means we're practically at the Fall Holiday Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas (sorry, that's the one I celebrate, fill in your holiday of choice)-New Year's marathon. Those months are always crazy busy with holiday plans, parties, shopping, baking, cooking, decorating, etc.
And somewhere, tucked on between New Year's and Valentine's day we'll be welcoming a new member to the family.
Phew!
I'm glad my 2nd trimester motivation and energy are here, there's stuff to do!
And we can't wait! Keep cooking little baby, we're out here making room for you, moving One Philly Big Brother out of what will be your room and getting more and more excited! See you soon!
I've been thinking January is ages and ages away. But someone recently put it all in perspective for me: it's August, which means we're practically at the Fall Holiday Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas (sorry, that's the one I celebrate, fill in your holiday of choice)-New Year's marathon. Those months are always crazy busy with holiday plans, parties, shopping, baking, cooking, decorating, etc.
And somewhere, tucked on between New Year's and Valentine's day we'll be welcoming a new member to the family.
Phew!
I'm glad my 2nd trimester motivation and energy are here, there's stuff to do!
And we can't wait! Keep cooking little baby, we're out here making room for you, moving One Philly Big Brother out of what will be your room and getting more and more excited! See you soon!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
To keep or not...
My critical "do I need this or can it go?" eye settled on top of my medicine cabinet.
I saw medicine, a candle and two glass bud vases.
The medicine was taken care of when I cleaned out the inside of the cabinet (half empty bandaid boxes, expired antibiotics - all gone) and made room inside the cabinet for Children's Triaminic and Benadryl. The 3/4 burnt candles went in the trash.
The vases are a harder decision.
They are probably easily found at a craft store and I certainly don't have fresh cut buds on a regular enough basis to warrant "needing" them.
But they were One Philly Daddy and my place settings at a friend's wedding. We attended the wedding early in our courtship, and since I've left the tags on, I know we sat at table 11. I remember there was a single Gerber daisy in each one at the wedding.
We had many mutual friends when we started dating, and this wedding was one of our earliest "coming out" events. I was nervous about the reaction we would get, but we were happily received and supported as a couple.
These vases have been with us through a long distance relationship, my relocating and our first home together, our wedding, the home we purchased and now live in, the starting of our family.
I know many home organizers would recommend ditching the vases, maybe keeping the tags for my sentimental reasons.
Still, I expect the vases will make the cut.
I saw medicine, a candle and two glass bud vases.
The medicine was taken care of when I cleaned out the inside of the cabinet (half empty bandaid boxes, expired antibiotics - all gone) and made room inside the cabinet for Children's Triaminic and Benadryl. The 3/4 burnt candles went in the trash.
The vases are a harder decision.
They are probably easily found at a craft store and I certainly don't have fresh cut buds on a regular enough basis to warrant "needing" them.
But they were One Philly Daddy and my place settings at a friend's wedding. We attended the wedding early in our courtship, and since I've left the tags on, I know we sat at table 11. I remember there was a single Gerber daisy in each one at the wedding.
We had many mutual friends when we started dating, and this wedding was one of our earliest "coming out" events. I was nervous about the reaction we would get, but we were happily received and supported as a couple.
These vases have been with us through a long distance relationship, my relocating and our first home together, our wedding, the home we purchased and now live in, the starting of our family.
I know many home organizers would recommend ditching the vases, maybe keeping the tags for my sentimental reasons.
Still, I expect the vases will make the cut.
Monday, July 25, 2011
If you've been to my house since May you may not be surprised to hear I haven't been doing much cleaning, organizing, cooking, etc. Yes, it's the first trimester, I've been happy that we're all mostly clean and clothed.
There's also the sense of being overwhelmed. The longer something is let go, typically the messier it gets. (hey, that works literally and metaphorically! Neat!)
So, certainly, part of my inaction is simply due to the "oh, crap, where do I start?" stuff.
But, I've realized there's another piece to it. We've got to make room for a whole new person!
The One Philly Family lives in a modest twin with enough workable space. Yeah, we could easily make the argument for the "need" for more space, but philosophically I believe less is more, that I'd rather have plenty of financial breathing room, and following my heart/gut. We recently seriously considered putting an offer in on a house we love, love, love and expected to be our forever and ever house. But it's not time. For a multitude of reasons.
So I'm looking at my home through a more critical eye. Half empty, 10 year old hair gel that I've probably moved 3 times needs to go! Books I bought in an airport for a mindless beach read need to go! Clothes we don't love or that don't fit...out. Obsolete textbooks gotta go. You get the idea.
I'll happily get rid of material stuff I don't use for a peaceful home with enough room for everyone and financial security. And I've got about 6 months to make room...I think I can do it!
There's also the sense of being overwhelmed. The longer something is let go, typically the messier it gets. (hey, that works literally and metaphorically! Neat!)
So, certainly, part of my inaction is simply due to the "oh, crap, where do I start?" stuff.
But, I've realized there's another piece to it. We've got to make room for a whole new person!
The One Philly Family lives in a modest twin with enough workable space. Yeah, we could easily make the argument for the "need" for more space, but philosophically I believe less is more, that I'd rather have plenty of financial breathing room, and following my heart/gut. We recently seriously considered putting an offer in on a house we love, love, love and expected to be our forever and ever house. But it's not time. For a multitude of reasons.
So I'm looking at my home through a more critical eye. Half empty, 10 year old hair gel that I've probably moved 3 times needs to go! Books I bought in an airport for a mindless beach read need to go! Clothes we don't love or that don't fit...out. Obsolete textbooks gotta go. You get the idea.
I'll happily get rid of material stuff I don't use for a peaceful home with enough room for everyone and financial security. And I've got about 6 months to make room...I think I can do it!
Today, finally, the heat wave let up a bit. There was a breeze, low humidity, and even some rain.
Ahhh!!!!
Poor One Philly Son has been cooped up in the house for much of the heat wave. #1 he's not even 2 yet, and gets flushed when it's "warm", let alone "sweltering". #2 his Mommy is pregnant, so doesn't do well with exertion right now, again, especially when it's sweltering.
So today, when it was livable to be outside again, we went for it!
We played in the park in the morning and One Philly Son ran (or swung, his favorite) for an hour straight. And slept for an hour on the couch when we got home.
Before lunch we did bubbles, water table, and chalk on the back porch.
After lunch, and in the rain, we did more bubbles. Though, to be honest, I think he was happy to just be outside again. He sat in his stroller, on the porch, going nowhere for about 20 minutes. I think he was afraid to break the spell.
Now that it's thundering he's sitting on the step babbling to himself. I'm happy he's not afraid of the bangs and booms.
I hope he's not too disappointed in another day when we're stuck inside again!
Ahhh!!!!
Poor One Philly Son has been cooped up in the house for much of the heat wave. #1 he's not even 2 yet, and gets flushed when it's "warm", let alone "sweltering". #2 his Mommy is pregnant, so doesn't do well with exertion right now, again, especially when it's sweltering.
So today, when it was livable to be outside again, we went for it!
We played in the park in the morning and One Philly Son ran (or swung, his favorite) for an hour straight. And slept for an hour on the couch when we got home.
Before lunch we did bubbles, water table, and chalk on the back porch.
After lunch, and in the rain, we did more bubbles. Though, to be honest, I think he was happy to just be outside again. He sat in his stroller, on the porch, going nowhere for about 20 minutes. I think he was afraid to break the spell.
Now that it's thundering he's sitting on the step babbling to himself. I'm happy he's not afraid of the bangs and booms.
I hope he's not too disappointed in another day when we're stuck inside again!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Finding his voice...
One of our favorite things at night is to sit and watch One Philly Son in the video monitor at night. For about an hour after we lay him down he rolls around, throwing blankets around, rearranging Elmo, Eyeore and Mickey Mouse until they are in just the right location.
He also tries out new words. This means he occassionally yells out "Money" and "Daddy" or, more likely "Elmo! Elmo? Elmo!!!".
He's learning new "words" all the time, some of which we can't translate yet. Such as "at-da-da", typically spoken while pointing at the ceiling. Some are clearer like "baksketball", which is, of course, basketball.
Whether we understand it or not, it's fascinating to watch the next evolution of our little man.
He also tries out new words. This means he occassionally yells out "Money" and "Daddy" or, more likely "Elmo! Elmo? Elmo!!!".
He's learning new "words" all the time, some of which we can't translate yet. Such as "at-da-da", typically spoken while pointing at the ceiling. Some are clearer like "baksketball", which is, of course, basketball.
Whether we understand it or not, it's fascinating to watch the next evolution of our little man.
Tickles and giggles in heaven...
My One Philly Family and I had a perfect moment recently.
One Philly Daddy and I were sitting on opposite sides of our couch and One Philly Son would laugh and run from one of us to the other.
When he was old enough to tickle and play we would hold up our index fingers to mean "I'm gonna tickle you!!!" One Philly Son has adopted this to mean "hey, why don't you tickle me?" and holds up his index fingers when he wants to be tickled.
At some point he indicated he wanted to be tickled and would run between us laughing and tickling. One of us would "capture" him for a tickle and ge would yell out for the other to "rescue" him.
The sound of the three of us laughing and One Philly Son yelling "Money!" (that's what he calls me. I love it.) and "Daddy" is what heaven looks and sounds like to me.
Even more special to me is that we taught some basic sign language to One Philly Son, one of the signs being "all done". It is taught and first used for eating, but One Philly Son has translated it for use in all situations, so when he's done with tickling, swinging, walking, etc he can just "say" so. I love this.
We do our best to honor his "all done" requests, except when there's an occassional insistence at bedtime that he's "all done".
So when One Philly Son told us he was all done, we stopped.
One Philly Son may be a child, and there are going to be times I have to exert my will over his: holding hands across the street, going to bed, brushing teeth, not hitting the dogs with my flip flops (sigh). But I want him to feel his needs and boundaries are recognized and respected, whether we're tickling or debating what to eat for lunch.
I can't wait for my next trip to heaven on our tickle couch!!!
One Philly Daddy and I were sitting on opposite sides of our couch and One Philly Son would laugh and run from one of us to the other.
When he was old enough to tickle and play we would hold up our index fingers to mean "I'm gonna tickle you!!!" One Philly Son has adopted this to mean "hey, why don't you tickle me?" and holds up his index fingers when he wants to be tickled.
At some point he indicated he wanted to be tickled and would run between us laughing and tickling. One of us would "capture" him for a tickle and ge would yell out for the other to "rescue" him.
The sound of the three of us laughing and One Philly Son yelling "Money!" (that's what he calls me. I love it.) and "Daddy" is what heaven looks and sounds like to me.
Even more special to me is that we taught some basic sign language to One Philly Son, one of the signs being "all done". It is taught and first used for eating, but One Philly Son has translated it for use in all situations, so when he's done with tickling, swinging, walking, etc he can just "say" so. I love this.
We do our best to honor his "all done" requests, except when there's an occassional insistence at bedtime that he's "all done".
So when One Philly Son told us he was all done, we stopped.
One Philly Son may be a child, and there are going to be times I have to exert my will over his: holding hands across the street, going to bed, brushing teeth, not hitting the dogs with my flip flops (sigh). But I want him to feel his needs and boundaries are recognized and respected, whether we're tickling or debating what to eat for lunch.
I can't wait for my next trip to heaven on our tickle couch!!!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
The things I love for real...
And despite all the things I "love" about pregnancy, there are a few that I really do love:
I love that, not once, has One Philly Daddy asked when I'm going to pick up, vacuumn, do laundry, start cooking dinner again.
I love that we have a yard that One Philly Son loves to play in and explore.
I love that I able to stay home without causing major financial headaches for us. This means that when One Philly Son sleeps in until 9, we can let him. This means One Philly Daddy can fit in almost an hour work out most mornings of the week, without having to get up at 5am and without having to coordinate two professional outfits, lunches, commutes and a daycare drop off. This also means if One Philly Son is sick, we don't have to debate who's day at work is more important.
I love that I can nap or do yoga or do nothing while One Philly Son naps each day.
I love that our house feels like a home. I love that it is a home full of laughter, love, tickles and giggles. I love that we are creating a safe, trusting environment for our family.
I love that One Philly Daddy is in the best shape of his life and only getting better.
I love that we are in the same page about big picture stuff like religion, money, wills, discipline, etc.
I love that, on sleepless nights, if I move through a few yoga poses in my mind, I can usually fall right to sleep.
I love that we're preparing to welcome another member to our family.
I love that we all have our health.
I love that, soon, I'll be able to feel this baby kick and have "proof" that s/he is in there.
I love that 99% of the things I worry about don't come true.
I love that One Philly Son is eager and excited by numbers and letters, books, blocks and trucks. I love that he'll soon move to a big boy room and bed.
I love that our family will take one more trip to the shore before this summer is over.
I love that, in many ways, I'm living my fairytale.
I bet even princesses in fairy tales sometimes complain about the castle and glass slippers.
I love that, not once, has One Philly Daddy asked when I'm going to pick up, vacuumn, do laundry, start cooking dinner again.
I love that we have a yard that One Philly Son loves to play in and explore.
I love that I able to stay home without causing major financial headaches for us. This means that when One Philly Son sleeps in until 9, we can let him. This means One Philly Daddy can fit in almost an hour work out most mornings of the week, without having to get up at 5am and without having to coordinate two professional outfits, lunches, commutes and a daycare drop off. This also means if One Philly Son is sick, we don't have to debate who's day at work is more important.
I love that I can nap or do yoga or do nothing while One Philly Son naps each day.
I love that our house feels like a home. I love that it is a home full of laughter, love, tickles and giggles. I love that we are creating a safe, trusting environment for our family.
I love that One Philly Daddy is in the best shape of his life and only getting better.
I love that we are in the same page about big picture stuff like religion, money, wills, discipline, etc.
I love that, on sleepless nights, if I move through a few yoga poses in my mind, I can usually fall right to sleep.
I love that we're preparing to welcome another member to our family.
I love that we all have our health.
I love that, soon, I'll be able to feel this baby kick and have "proof" that s/he is in there.
I love that 99% of the things I worry about don't come true.
I love that One Philly Son is eager and excited by numbers and letters, books, blocks and trucks. I love that he'll soon move to a big boy room and bed.
I love that our family will take one more trip to the shore before this summer is over.
I love that, in many ways, I'm living my fairytale.
I bet even princesses in fairy tales sometimes complain about the castle and glass slippers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)